Clarity for Tomorrow

The Mishna at the end of Taanis declares that there are two days on the Jewish calander which stand out: “Lo Hayu Yomim Tovim B’Yisroel K’Chamisha Asar B’Av, U’Kiyom HaKippurim: There are no happier days for Klal Yisroel that Tu B’av and Yom Kippur.”

The Mishna goes on to explain in detail how Tu B’av was celebrated, but ends without discussing Yom Kippur. The Gemarah asks: It’s understandable that Yom Kippur is a happy day because it’s the day of Slicha and Mechila, and the day of the Luchos Shnios, but wonders why Tu B’av was such a happy day.

What is seen from this Gemarah is that the fact that Yom Kippur is the happiest day of the year was Pashut to the Tana of the Mishna and indeed the Gemarah itself—the only part of the Mishna needing explanation concerned the other day, Tu B’Av. We must ask ourselves if we indeed see Yom Kippur as the happiest day of the year.

We approach the day of Yom Kippur with trepidation, even fear—and in many ways this is appropriate, it is after all the Yom Hadin—but do we treasure the day of Yom Kippur sufficiently? For many people the appropriate trepidation is turned to a sense of dread and the entire day is overshadowed by negative feelings—a Kiyum of the Mishna’s ideal of Lo Hayu Yomim Tovim B’Yisroel is far off.

How can we rescue this day, and experience the Simcha that is latent in the Itzumo Shel Yom?

Let us examine the cause for the Simcha of the day, to which the Mishna refers. As we mentioned, the Gemarah explains that Yom Kippur is a joyous day because it is a day of Slicha and Mechila. These are certainly positive aspects—we all have flaws and have committed Aveiros for which we require Slicha and Mechila—and cause for relief and joy. But if we think about it, is this exclusive to Yom Kippur?

If one thinks that Teshuva is only possible during the Yemei HaDin, he is sorely mistaken: one can do Teshuva at and time and his Aveiros are forgiven. We ask Hashem three times every day to grant us Selicah and Mechila, not just during this time of year. Certainly we are told that these days are Mesugal for Teshuva, auspicious days on which Teshuva is easier, but Mechila that comes from Teshuva is attainable on any day. Why then does the fact that there is Slicha and Mechila on Yom Kippur a cause for such an abundance of joy—to the extant that the Mishna and Gemarah took the day’s status as a day of great Simcha for granted?

Perhaps the answer lies not in the Selicha and Mechila themselves, but in the way that they are granted.

If there was a Passuk that represents Yom Kippur in a nutshell, that would be the “slogan” for the Yom HaKadosh, it would be: “Ki BaYom Hazeh Yichaper Alecham L’taher Eschem, MiKol Chatosechem, Lifnei Hashem Titharu: For on this day, he will atone for you, purifying you from all your sins, so that you can be pure before Hashem.” While this Passuk, which we say numerous times through the Tefilos HaYom, is referring to the Kohen Gadol: on Yom Kippur, the Kohen Gadol enters the Kodesh HaKadashim to stand directly before Hashem and perform the Avodah that is Mechaper on Klal Yisroel. On this day alone is the Avodah performed, and so the day is unique in the potential for Kapparah.

This Pasuk can be understood in a different way as well, however.

On Yom Kippur each of us enters a different realm: we fast, and forego essentially all of our connections to the physical world. Although the Inuyim are the same as the ones we keep on Tisha B’av, we do not observe them out of mourning, but rather because we do not need physical pleasures on this day. On Yom Kippur we maintain the existence of Malachim, a status that is indicated by the fact that we recite “Baruch Shem Kavod Malchuso” out loud.

This existence, this departure from the physical allows us to stand before Hashem without the barriers that normally exists. On Yom Kippur we stand “Lifnei Hashem” and it is from that position, directly in front of him, that we undergo not only Slicha and Mechila, but Tahara.

On Yom Kippur we are in the Mechitza of Hashem, in his inner sanctum, and through Teshuva we are Zoche to Kaparah of the highest level. This itself is cause for great Simcha, for the level of Selicha and Mechila that can be attained on Yom Kippur Lifnei Hashem is clearly of a higher level than one can reach during the year.

But the removal of the barriers that occurs on Yom Kippur, which allows us to stand Lifnei Hashem, has an added benefit.

Imagine a child who, feeling stiffed and limited by the boundaries that his mother and father—like any caring parents—have put in place, runs away from home. His belief is that he will be more free on his own, and better positioned to enjoy his life. To his dismay life on the run is no fun at all—he is constantly gripped by fear of the elements, unsavory characters and other hazards. In fact he is so consumed by the fear of the outdoors that he enjoys life even less than when he was in his parents’ home. Realizing that his escape was fruitless he returns home, dejected and fearful of his parents wrath, only to be engulfed in a loving embrace and showered with love.

That child, fresh from the travails of the road, will not only accept the boundaries on which his parents insist, but he will embrace them—grateful for the protection they provide and secure in the understanding that his parents only even put them in place in order to protect him.

On Yom Kippur, we return home. We have spent an entire year on the run, seeking to escape the boundaries that Hashem has asked us to respect, and in fact running away from Hashem himself. On Yom Kippur we return home and are welcomed with not only love but forgiveness, we stand Lifnei Hashem and realize magnitude of his Hashgacha on our lives—we can be Zoche to a level of unbelievable clarity with regard to our Emunah and Bitachon, as we stand in the Mechitza of Hashem.

I think that this understanding of the Simcha of Yom Kippur—the Lifnei Hashem and the clarity that comes with it, can help us with another troubling aspect of this day.

As we experience the Yomim Noraim, and especially as the day of Yom Kippur progresses, we are all inspired to greater spiritual heights, we all make Kabalos and try to act in ways that are more consistent with the Ratzon Hashem. One of the greatest challenges, though, is to maintain this growth. We sometimes ask ourselves how we can expect to maintain this level for the rest of the year, and whether our Yom Kippur is “worth anything” if we end up in a similar place the next day.

One year right before Neilah, during the 10 minutes that constituted the Yom Kippur break in our Yeshiva, a friend of mine mentioned to me that he had heard in a shmooze from R’ Shimson Pinkus that of all the lines we say in Avinu Malkenu the most important one to focus on is “…Na Al Tisheveynu Reikam Milfanecha: Please do not turn us away empty handed.” We generally understand this line of the Tefillah to be asking that Hashem fulfill our myriad requests for life, Parnasa, health, and the like, and not turn us away empty handed, so to speak.

R’ Shimshon’s suggests, however, that instead we ask Hashem not to return us back to the regular world, away from the Lifnei Hashem experience, without any lasting growth. Na Al Tisheveynu Reikam: do not return us empty, without any permanent growth, Milfanecha from the Lifnei Hashemi that we have lived today. This is the most important Bakasha—to ensure that our growth is not merely temporary.

How can we carry our Yom Kippur through to the rest of the year? Surely we need Siyata D’shmaya, but what can we do to ensure that we don’t totally lose everything we gain on this Yom Kadosh?

As Neilah ends, and our time Lifnei Hashem comes to a close, we experience perhaps the most emotional moment of the day: Kabalas Ol Malchus Shamayim. At the apex of Yom Kippur we raise our eyes and our voices and proclaim with all our might: “Hashem Hu HaElokim.” This stirring proclamation of our Emunah in Hashem is the final piece of the Yom Kippur Avodah, and comes just before we transition back to our physical selves, it would therefore seem to be the most appropriate lesson to take with us back to reality, as it were.

R’ Matisyahu Solomon, in Matnas Chaim, explains this part of the Tefillah with the following insight.

We know that there are various names that are used to describe Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The name Elokim has the connotation of Midas Hadin—it is the name of Hashem that reminds us that He sometimes has to act with Din. We generally understand that Shem Adnus, the name the we pronounce Hashem, is the name that reflects the Midas HaRachamim—the name that relates to Hashem’s ability to act with mercy.

There are times that we experience Elokim moments—we feel that Hashem is treating us with Din. In times of tragedy, hardship and even everyday troubles, we feel as though we are subject to the Midas HaDin. On the other hand, when things are going well, when our lives are going as we wish, when we come across success and happiness, we assume that we are being treated to the Midah of Rachamim as alluded to by the Shem Adnus.

R’ Matisyahu explains that in fact the Shem Adnus encompasses all the various Midos of Hashem. When we speak of the name Hashem, that includes the Midah of Rachmim, but also the Midah of Din. When we experience the “Elokim” moments, those are really “Hashem” moments as well. When we do require Din that is actually a part of the Midas HaRachamim.

This idea may seem bit esoteric, but I think it can be best understood based on a thought from R’ Elya Lopian: the Gemarah in Brachos says that storms, thunder, is meant to stir our Neshomos, to spur us to Teshuva. This doesn’t refer only to thunder, but to any scary moment.

R’ Elya points out though, that following the thunder comes the rain and rain signifies Bracha.

The moments that seem like Din, are in fact to stir us to Teshuva so that we may experience Rachamim. There are times that Hashem would like to give us Bracha, but our misadventures in life render us unworthy. We therefore must experience Din, precisely so that Hashem may treat us with Rachamim and bestow Bracha. The thunder is there so that the rain may come.

The clarity that we experience on Yom Kippur, the connection that we feel to Hashem during the time that we are L’fnei V’lifnim, allows us to make the declaration that Hashem Hu HaElokim. After a day of Yom Kippur we understand that even when it seems that we are experiencing Elokim moments, that too is rooted in Hashem’s desire to give us Bracha and come from the Shem of Adnus that includes both Din and Rachamim.

As we end Yom Kippur and leave the Mechitza of Hashem that we have been Zoche to stay in during the Yom HaKadosh, let us take the message of Hashem Hu HaElokim with us back to our regular existence. If we allow the clarity of Yom Kippur to permeate our entire lives, and live secure in the knowledge that Hashem Hu HaElokim, we can indeed bring Yom Kippur with us into the rest of the year, and be Zoche to a G’mar Chasima Tova and all the Brachos that we ask for on this day.

In this way, our Bakasha of “…Na Al Tisheveynu Reikam Milfanecha” will be answered will be answered in all it’s implications.