A Lonely Mother

Of the many events in the life of Yaakov Avniu discussed in this week’s Parsha, from his encounter with Esav to the story of Dina and Shechem, the death and Kevurah of Rochel Imeinu is one that most of us are familiar with, and feel in a way connected to in some way. As with all parts of the Torah, however, this connection can be made stronger by examining the Pessukim through the lens of Chazal, bringing new meaning to light.

The Torah tells us that after Yaakov left Bais El, Rochel Imeinu began to give birth, but experienced complications. The midwife who was attending to her assured her that she was having a boy, and the Pasuk says: "VaYehi B'Tzeis Nafshah Ki Mesah VaTikra Shemo Ben-Oni, V'Aviv Karah Lo Binyamin." Rochel named her son, who she was never to meet, Ben Oni which Rashi tells us means "the son of my affliction", which would seem to be appropriate under the circumstances. Yaakov Avinu, however, changed the boy's name to Benyamin, which is of course the name he was known by thereafter. We must ask ourselves, however, why he did so. Leaving aside any question of "Mitzvah L'Shmoah Divrei HaMes", it seems almost insensitive to ignore the name given by Rochel in favor of a new name. We know however that Yaakov was not acting callously—there must have been a significance to the change.

If we look at the name he gave, Binyamin, the question is a even a little stronger. Rashi tells us that this name alludes to the fact that Binyamin was born in Eretz Yisroel, which is to the east when coming from Aram Naharyim. It is a little difficult to understand why Yaakov would have used this as a reference point, as he was not coming from that direction at the time, in fact the Ramban rejects the Pshat of Rashi for this reason, but it is clear that Rashi felt that Yaakov meant to allude to the place of Binyamin's birth. With this in mind we must understand not only why Yaakov changed his son's name from that given by his mother, but why he used this particular name as well.

The Torah then tells us about the Kevurah of Rochel Immenu, which of course took place on the side of the road, exactly where she was Niftar. It is of course notable that Yaakov chose to bury Rochel in that spot, and not bring her to Chevron—where he was headed to anyway—and bury her in Me’aras Hamachpela. There are a number of explanations given as to the reason for Yaakov’s choice.

The most well-known explanation for the location of Kever Rochel comes from a Medrash that is brought by Rashi in Parshas Vayechi. Chazal tell us that Yaakov explained to Yosef that he did not bring Rochel to Chevron because in the future, when Bnei Yisroel are on their way to Galus, they will Daven at Kever Rochel, and Rochel Imenu will plead with Hakadosh Baruch Hu on their behalf, and their Teffilos will be answered. As we know, the Pessukim in Yirmiyahu tell us that this came true: Rochel was indeed “Mevakah Al Baneha” and Hakadosh Baruch Hu comforts her, telling he “Mini Kolech M’Bechi V’eynachich M’Dmaos” and promises her “V’Shavu Banim L’Gvulam”.

This Medrash, as cited by Rashi, should of course answer our question: Yaakov buried Rochel in that spot because it would be there that Bnei Yisroel would be able to pour their hearts out as they were sent into Galus, and achieve the promise of “V’Shavu Banim L’Gvulam”. In fact, Rashi says that Yakkov was told to do so Al Pi HaDibur so that this eventuality could play out. A closer look at the source of Rashi’s words, however, brings a new question to light.

The Medrash that Rashi quotes is found in the Pisikta Rabasi, and for the most part is exactly the way that we are familiar with it. But there is one important addition: the Medrash says that when the Bais Hamikdash would be destroyed, Klal Yisroel would go daven at the Kevarim of the Avos Hakedoshim, but would not be answered, and only when they were on the way out of Eretz Yisroel would they pass Kever Rochel. At that point they would ask Rochel to intercede on their behalf and, as the Pessukim tells us, Rochel would heed their call.

If this is the case, that Bnei Yisroel would turn first to the Avos, in Me’aras HaMechpela, and only cry to Rochel on their way to Galus, why didn’t Yaakov bring her to Chevron? If Rochel had been interred in Me’aras Hamachpela, she could have heard the cries of Bnei Yisroel at that time and responded in the same way? Why did she have to be on the side of the road, away from the rest of the Avos and Imahos? Although we understand that Yaakov’s decision about the Makom Kevurah for Rochel was tied to her ability to cry on behalf of her children, we must clarify why that couldn’t take place in Chevron.

In addition, the Kevurah itself had an interesting aspect. The Passuk says “VaYatzev Yaakov Matzeva Al Kevurasah”, that Yaakov placed a Matzeva on the place of Rochel’s Kevurah. The Medrash Lekach Tov explains the way this Matzeva was constructed: each one of the Shevatim placed a stone on top of the Kever, and Yakkov placed his atop theirs. Why did each of the Shevatim participate in this way? Most of them were not Rochel’s children, indeed we see later that there was some animosity between the different sets of sons on some level, why did they place stones on her Kever?

In order to properly understand the various Pessukim and Divrei Chazal, hopefully opening a new window into a story and topic we are already familiar with, it is helpful to examine the discussion that Yaakov has with Yosef at the end of his life.

The Pessukim in Parshas Vayechi tell us that Yaakov asked Yosef to ensure that he be taken to Eretz Yisroel for Kevurah. At that point Yosef may have had a question: his mother, Rochel, was not brought into the city of Bais Lechem, let alone to Chevron, but was buried on the side of the road. Why then should Yaakov be taken all the way to Eretz Yisroel after his Petirah? Yaakov answers this question by explaining his choice to bury Rochel on the side of the road, as the Pesikta Rabasi cited above expounds.

It is interesting to note, however, that this discussion took place the second time that Yaakov made this request to Yosef. They had a conversation about Yaakov’s wishes to be buried in Chevron earlier, and Yosef took a Shavua. Then later, when Menashe and Ephraim are brought for Brachos, Yaakov asks Yosef again to ensure that he is taken to Eretz Yisroel for Kevurah, and speaks to him about Kever Rochel at that point. If Yaakov provided an insight into his thought process in order to quell Yosef’s questions, why did he wait until later to tell him this, why not bring it up in their initial conversation about the subject?

I saw a thought from R’ Yoel Teitelbaum, the Satmar Rebbe, about this discussion that can perhaps help us understand the essence of Rochel and her Makom Kevurah.

R’ Yoel points out that even after Yaakov explains that Rochel needed to be buried at the side of the road so that she could Daven for Klal Yisroel in their time of desperation, Yosef could have wondered why his mother was chosen for that role. Why couldn’t one of the other Avos or Imahos had their Kevurah in a spot that would enable them to Daven for Klal Yisroel? R’ Yoel explains that Yaakov waited until this point, when Menashe and Ephraim were there, to speak about Kever Rochel in order to forestall this potential question, and he has a Mehalech to explain these Pessukim, but I would like to take a slightly different approach.

Yosef occupies a unique place among the Shevatim. The Passuk in Tehillim refers to “Bnei Yaakov V’Yosef” indicating that we are all sons of Yosef in a way, even those who stem from other Shevatim. None of the other Shevatim achieved this status, to be seen as one of the Avos in a sense. In addition, Yosef’s sons, Menashe and Ephraim, were the only two of Yaakov’s grandchildren to become full-fledged Shevatim, “K’Reuven V’Shimon Yihiyu Li.” What was it about Yosef that gave him this status and allowed his children to become Shevatim?

Meforshim explain that the Avos each gave us something: some part of our Avodas Hashem and character as Yidden exists only because of each of the Avos. Yosef also gave us something, that applies to all of us, not just his own children, and so although we are not his biological offspring, we maintain the connection of one of the Avos: he gave us the ability to survive in Galus. Yosef, far from his home and his father, removed from all that he knew, remained a Tzaddik. He withstood enormous pressure and temptation to cling to that which he knew to be true, and passed that ability on to each one of us.

This characteristic was reflected in his sons, Ephraim and Menashe, who were born and raised in born in complete Galus, miles removed from the Bais Yaakov, but achieved greatness. Only these two sons were Zoche to become Shevatim, Yaakov tells him that any subsequent children would not have this Zecus: “U’Moladitcha Asher Holdita Acharehem Lecha Yehiyu.” Each Shevet brings a certain aspect and Koach to the spectrum of Klal Yisroel and Yosef’s sons brought this quality—an ability to survive in Galus.

When Yaakov told Yosef that his sons would become Shevatim because their father had instilled this Koach within them, he explained that this was not all Yosef’s doing—he in turn got it from his mother. Rochel came from the Bais Lavan, a place that was bereft of any Kedusha, yet we know that she attained unbelievable heights. And although she lived in Eretz Yisroel at the end of her life it wasn’t until Yaakov and his family reached Chevron that they were settled, until then they were in a status of Galus even within the borders of Eretz Yisroel, constantly on the move. In this way, Rochel was the paradigm of survival in Galus—regardless of her physical location, and her distance from the source of Kedusha, she thrived and found greatness.

Perhaps this is why Yaakov waited until this point to discuss this issue with Yosef: his answer was more understandable once he elevated Menashe and Ephraim to the status of Shevatim in recognition of their ability to thrive in Galus. Once this was explained to Yosef, it was understood why Yaakov chose her Makom Kevurah as he did: Klal Yisroel would need Teffilos, and only Rochel, who understood Galus so well, could intercede on their behalf.

This can also help us understand why Rochel’s Kevurah had to be on the side of the road as it were, even though Bnei Yisroel would approach the Avos in Chevron before reaching that point. Even in her burial, Rochel is apart from everyone else—in Galus to an extent. While the other Avos and Imahos are together, so to speak, in a place of Kedusha, as Chazal tell us, Rochel is alone, once again removed from her proper place.

This is also why all of the Shevatim placed stones upon her Kever: to signify that this spot would be an address for all their children to turn to, because they would each be imbued with the Kochos of Rochel Imenu.

When Bnei Yisroel encountered Kever Rochel on the way to Galus, they were not just at the resting place of an ancestor: they were at the Kever of the one person who understood exactly what they were going through. Rochel survived Galus, and instilled the skills and abilities to do so in her children, and they in each and every one of us. In arriving at her lone Kever, Bnei Yisroel had a chance to Daven, but also no doubt received a dose of Chizuk, because they realized they had the tools to survive.

This is reflected in the Pessukim in Yirmiyahu as well. Rochel cries “Al Baneha”—though only a portion of Klal Yisroel were her biological children, as they went to Galus, everyone became her son, as they were now to rely on the Kochos that she instilled in us. Hashem therefore responds in kind: “Yesh Sachar L’Peulaseich”, your efforts will bear fruit—all the work that you, Rochel, did to instill into your children the abilities to survive Galus will pay off—“V’Shavu Banim L’Gvulam,” Bnei Yisroel will survive and ultimately return to Eretz Yisroel.

This can help us understand the naming of Binyamin as well.

Rochel realized that she would not live to raise this new son, and named him Ben Oni. What was she bemoaning? Surely it was not that she would not witness his physical growth—Rochel could only have been concerned that she would not be able to shape his life, to instill into him that which she had taught Yosef Hatzaddik—the ability to survive in Galus. Yaakov, however, realized that this child was different, he was the only of the Shevatim born in Eretz Yisroel, and so on some level did not require this education. The name Yaakov chose, Binyamin, reflects this reality and indeed we know that “Zeh Hakattan Gadol Yihiyeh”, Benyomin was a Tzaddik Gamur, who died without any Aveiros. Yaakov changed the baby’s name to show us that as much as the skill set needed to thrive in Galus is an integral part of our being, there will be a time when that won’t be necessary, when we will be on Admas Kodesh, free of the dangers posed by Galus.

Since the time of the Churban, Jews have descended on Kever Rochel to pour out their hearts and souls. They daven for their own personal Geulos and of course for the national Geulah that awaits us all. As they do so they take solace in the knowledge that “Mameh Rochel” brings our case before Hakadosh Baruch Hu and beseeches Him on our behalf. Whether we are at her resting place or far from it, however, we should also take Chizuk in the knowledge that we have the tools to survive. Whether we battle a physical Esav, or a spiritual one, we must remember that Rochel Imenu planted within each of us the Koach to not only survive Galus, but to thrive within it. This knowledge can keep us strong until the time that the Zohar tells us we will once again gather at Kever Rochel as we realize the Kiyum of the words of the Navi: “V’Shavu M’Eretz Oyev.”