Right of Refusal

In this weeks Parsha, we begin to learn about the travails of Yosef Hatzaddik: the difficulties he faces with his brothers, which lead to Mechiras Yosef, and the challenges of Bais Potifar, which lead to his imprisonment in Mitzrayim.

It is interesting to note that much more space and time in the Torah is dedicated to Yosef Hatzaddik than any of the other Shevatim, and more than even Yitzchok Avinu. This would seem to indicate that Yosef's life and his experiences hold specific importance to us.

The Passuk in Tehllim assigns additional importance to Yosef as well, referring to Klal Yisroel as "Bnei Yaakov V'Yosef." This designation would appear to place Yosef on the level of one of the Avos, which is difficult to understand: we are all children of Avraham, Yitzchok and Yaakov; but we are not all children of Yosef--there were twelve Shevatim--not everyone comes from Yosef. So why does the Passuk refer to the entire Klal Yisroel as children of Yosef.

Perhaps we can explain this Passuk by redefining the concept of Avos. Yes, we are all biological children of the Avos Hakedoshim, because we all stem from their progeny. But that is not why they are considered our Avos. Meforshim explain that the Middos and Kochos of each of the Avos are ingrained in each member of Klal Yisroel--they exist within our very being. Avraham, Yitzchok and Yaakov instilled within each of us the Middos of Chesed, Gevurah, and Emes. Our ability to be true Maminim comes from Avraham's Emunah, our Koach Hatefillah is rooted in Vayetar Yitzchok, and our dedication to Torah comes from Yaakov's status as the Yoshev Ohalim.

If this is the case, we can understand that Yosef may be considered one of the Avos too, regardless of our biological connection to him. If there is a piece of Yosef Hatzaddik in each of us, so to speak, then he is indeed one of our Avos, as he has affected each and every one of us.

We must therefore understand what Middah or Koach we gained from Yosef. In what way do each of us lead a life affected by the life of Yosef Hataddik?

We are told, in this week's Parsha, that when Yosef reached Mitzrayim he was bought by Portifar who made Yosef into a servant in his home. Yosef was a talented individual and he quickly advanced, becoming the chief servant in no time. Potifar's wife took notice of the young man, and was attracted by his beauty. She tried to seduce him, seeking to ensnare him in Aveira.

The Medrash says that Eishes Potifar was not totally malicious in her intent. She saw, through Kishuf, that she was destined to bear descendants through Yosef. Her mistake, though, was that she believed herself to be the source of this progeny, while in fact it was her daughter who was to become Yosef's wife.

Regardless of her quasi-altruistic claims, Yosef patently refused to fall into her trap. The Torah discusses his response to Eishes Potifar at length. First the Passuk says: "Vayimaen: And he refused." Yosef flat out denied her entreaties. Next, the Passuk outlines Yosef's argument, the reasons he gave her for his refusal: he was the chief servant in Potifar's house, and violating his master's trust could cost him his job--or worse, as he would soon see. The final point in Yosef's argument, though, was "VeChatsi Le'Elokim: and I would sin to Hashem."

Contained within this narrative is the key to our own battle with temptation, whether the challenges are presented by our own Yetzer Harah or by others. First, one must refuse unequivocally—V’Yimaen—only then should we try to explain our refusal to participate in the Aveira. And even if we are trying to explain our refusal using rational arguments—as Yosef explained that he would be risking his job—the root of our refusal must be V’Chatasi L’Elokim .

The Ohr Chaim Hakadosh explains that Yosef was telling Eishes Potifar that Hashem was really at the root of all his success and therefore going against the Ratzon Hashem would be a lack of Hakaras Hatov. If our fight against temptation is rooted in Emunah and a realization of all that Hashem does for us, we can be victorious in the battle.

In truth though, with his fight against Eishes Potifar, Yosef did more than provide a lesson in dealing with the Yetzer Harah.

The Gemarah in Yoma says: “Yosef Mechayev Es HaReshaim ” the simple understanding of this Gemarah is that those who sin in their lifetime are held accountable for their actions because Yosef was able to withstand the temptation of Eishes Potifar, showing that a person can withstand Aveira.

This Gemarah is difficult to understand. Why would we assume that a person has the strength of Yosef Hatzaddik? How can the average person be expected to withstand his Nisyonos just because Yosef, the son of Yaakov, one of the Shivtei Kah, was able to withstand his?

The Sfas Emes offers an astounding explanation: when he refused Eishes Potifar, when he withstood his Nisayon, Yosef instilled in each of his offspring the ability to do the same. With his “VaYimaen,” Yosef provided each of us the Koach to withstand the Nisyonos that we face. This is why Reshaim are held accountable for their actions, why “Yosef Mechayev Es HaReshaim:” not because Yosef withstood his Nisayon, but because Yosef passed down to us the ability to withstand our own.

This is why we are Bnei Yosef, as the Passuk in Tehillim says, because just as we are instilled with the Middos and Kochos of the Avos HaKedoshim, we are each imbued with the VaYimaen on Yosef Hatzaddik. Each of us is affected by him, and therefore we are his children.

I would like to expand on this thought of the Sfas Emes.

Why is it that Yosef’s victory of the temptation of Eishes Potifar, his VaYimaen, was the moment that gave all of us the ability to withstand our Nisyonos? Avraham was tested ten times, that means that at each Nisayon there was a Yetzer Harah for him to overcome—otherwise it’s not a Nisayon—yet we get out Koach from Yosef’s VaYimaen. Why is that?

The Medrash Shochar Tov tells us that when Moshe Rabbeinu came to do Krias Yam Suf, the Yam refused, it did not want to go against its Teva and split itself. Moshe therefore showed the Yam the Atzmos Yosef, making the argument that just as Yosef went against his Teva to be Mekadesh Shem Shamayim, the Yam should also go against its Teva to make a Kiddush Hashem. This caused the Yam Suf to split.

It is true that Yosef went against his Teva in resisting Eishes Potifar, but is that not the case every time someone withstands their Taiva and resists Aveira? The question remains—what is it about Yosef’s Nisayon and his victory over that Nisayon that is different?

I think the answer lies in the fact that Yosef was in Mitzrayim at the time of his Nisayon. He was far away from his father and the center of Kedusha that Yaakov represents. For all intents and purposes Yosef was in Galus. This made his triumph over Eishes Potifar all the more remarkable. When the Avos overcame Nisayon, they were with the Shechina, they were living lives that were constantly full of Kedusha. Yosef was the first one who had to be sent away from his source of Kedusha—the Bais Yaakov—and fend for himself.

This is the Koach that he gave over to each of us. When we are in Galus, far away from the Shechina, we draw our ability to overcome Nisayon from the Vayimaen of Yosef.

I have been thinking about this for a while, and it occurs to me that the Koach we received from that VaYimaen is not only the key to triumph over the Yetzer Harah and temptation, but also the key to our survival as a nation.

Throughout our history, there have been many who sought to destroy us spiritually and physically, yet we overcome with a Koach that is by all accounts L’malah Min HaTeva. Where does this Koach come from? Maybe it too comes from Yosef Hatzaddik.

When Yosef resisted Eishes Potifar, when he refused to be drawn into his plan, he gave us all the ability to stand up not only to outside influences, but to that which threatens our entire existence, in a way that is L’malah Mi Derech HaTeva.

We are approaching Chanukah, a Yom Tov that is about Nissim that were L’malah Min HaTeva. The Nes of the Menorah beyond Teva, as was the victory in the war. But the resistance to the Yevanim was as well. We know that those who stayed close to Hashem had to hide in caves in order to learn, and when they eventually saw that the Yevanim were defiling the Bais Hamikdash, they stood up and fought although they were comically outnumbered. Where does that come from?

It comes from VaYimaen.

Many of you know that I spent about 80 hours in Israel this week. I was there as part of a group of young men who went to see the Shuvu school system—ostensibly we were going to be Mechazek the children, teachers and staff in Israel. Instead we were all treated to a strong dose of Chizuk for ourselves—it was a week of VaYimaen moments.

In a tenth grade classroom in Beit Shemesh, a girls stood up and told us proudly that she keeps Shabbat and Tznius to the best of her ability, though her family is completely not (yet) Frum. She said: “I had a choice, I could have done whatever I want. I chose the Derech HaEmes.” Where does that come from? It comes from VaYimaen Yosef.

We were told that one student came to school and could not sit for three days because of the beating she received as a result of her decision to keep Shabbos. That did not stop her. VaYimaen.

A fifth grade boy told us that when his cousins come for Shabbos, he sleeps in a separate room because he knows that otherwise the temptation to be Mechalel Shabbos would be too strong. He is ten years old and has Gevurah we beyond his years. He has a strong dose of VaYimaen.

On Wednesday morning we had the opportunity to Daven in Khal Bnei Torah in Har Nof—the scene of the gruesome attack just three weeks ago. Again, we went because we were told that we could give them Chizuk with our visit. Again, we left more Mechuzak then anyone else.

There is a Kolel in the room that the attack took place. Barely twenty four hours after the Malachei Chabala left, the Kolel sat back down to continue learning. The foreign, and even Israeli, media was still camped out at the scene—they were in utter disbelief. How could people go on, “business as usual”? That is the Koach of VaYimaen—no terrorist can stop the Kol Torah from emanating from that room.

We see this Koach again and again throughout history. Every time a person, or group, attempts to turn us away, Klal Yisroel responds with a level of refusal that is super-human. This comes from Yosef Hatzaddik.

If we think about this, we can gain much Chizuk in our own lives. We know that there are heroes—children who defy all odds to remain Frum, men who stood up to authoritarian governments in an attempt to preserve Yiddishkeit, people who served Hahsem at the risk of losing their lives—and we assume that they are imbued with a special Koach that allows them to carry out their missions.

We have to realize that the Koach they have is the same Koach that we can access on a regular bais to overcome Nisayon. Overcoming the temptation of Aveira, especially when we are in Galus, removed from the center of Kedusha—is an act that is L’malah Mi Derech HaTeva, but is well within our reach because we are imbued with the VaYimaen of Yosef Hatzaddik.