Groups of Children

This week’s Parsha contains a wealth of Mitzvos, many of which we encounter in our everyday lives and some of which are less common. There is one Mitzvah, however, that qualifies in both categories: The Mitzva of “Lo Sisgodidu”.

The common application of this Mitzvah is in the context of not making groups within Klal Yisroel. The idea of Minhag HaMakom, for example, stems from this Mitzvah—one should generally follow the Minhagim of the location in which he finds himself, rather than creating groups within the Tzibbur.

This usage, however, is really beyond the simple meaning of this Mitzvah. The Passuk tells us: “Lo Sisgodidu, V’Lo Sasimu Karcha Bein Eneychem L’Meis.” As Rashi explains, there is an Issur to react to death in certain ways: by cutting our skin or shaving our head. The consensus among Meforshim is that the Goyim in Eretz Yisroel at the time employed these signs of mourning, and the Torah prohibited us from doing so.

We see then, that the simple meaning of these words has seemingly no relationship to our common use of the term “Lo Sisgodidu” as we explained it above. The Yalkut Shimoni, however, adds the interpretation with which we are more familiar: “Lo Sisgodidu, Lo Sasimu Agudos Agudos V’Tihiyu Chalukin Elu Al Elu: Do not make groups such that they will disagree with one another.”

There is of course one question that immediately calls out: clearly the Halacha of “Lo Sasimu Agudos Agudos” is an important one, with wide ranging applications. Why then does the Torah seem to “hide it” in the Mitzvah of “Lo Sisgodidu”, which has its own set of detailed Halachos?

The Yalkut notes that the word “Karcha” that is used in the Passuk relates to Korach, who certainly violated the prohibition of “Lo Sasimu Agudos Agudos” by encouraging disunity in Klal Yisroel, an explanation makes it easier to see how the two Mitzvos are perhaps related, but the question remains: why are two seemingly disparate Mitzavos so closely related? Surely there must be a message to us, something to learn from the fact that these two Mitzvos are really one.

Let us first look at the Mitzvah of Lo Sisgodidu in its most simple meaning.

It is interesting to note that this Mitzvah does not stand on its own, but is proceeded in the Passuk by a very impactful statement: “Banim Atem LaHashem Elokeychem.” One would expect to see such a declaration, which speaks directly to our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, as an introduction to one of the more fundamental or difficult Mitzvos found in the Torah. In such a case perhaps we would need the Chizuk of a reminder that we are the sons of Hashem, the Mitzvah of “Lo Sisgodidu”, however, is one that would seem to be relatively simple—why does the Torah begin this Passuk and preface this Mitzvah in such a way?

The Rishonim offer a number of explanations as to the way the Passkuk is worded, but I would like to focus on one specific Pshat.

Chizkuni explains that the Torah is addressing someone who has suffered a loss, quite possibly that of a close relative, and is in pain. He sees that tragedy that has befallen him and his family, and is at a loss for explanation and now the Torah wishes to place prohibitions on the way he expresses his sorrow. Therefore, the Passuk begins with a reminder: “Banim Attem LaHashem”, we are all the children of Hashem, and even we perhaps do not understand His ways, and why certain events we meant to occur, we must rely on the fact that “Kol Mah Sha’Asah Hakadosh Baruch Hu LeTova.” With this knowledge and the security that it provides, we can understand that our mourning should be somewhat limited—though we are of course allowed to be sad and express this grief, we may not do so in the ways proscribed by the Torah. It is important to note that Chizkuni generally explains the Passuk in the most Pashut way possible, with little room for Drush or Aggadah, making his explanation of these words quite notable: he felt that this is the simplest way to understand this Passuk.

We see then that the Mitzvah of “Lo Sisgodidu” is really a very fundamental one, in that it speaks to our direct relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. At our most trying times, when we are grasping for truth and understanding, we must remember: “Banim Attem LaHashem,” we are His children, and He only does that which is best for us. While the pain of the loss may still be felt, there is some relief in the knowledge that there is ultimate good in all His ways.

Based on this understanding of the Mitzvah of “Lo Sisgodidu”, maybe we can explain why the Torah includes the Halacha of “Lo Sasimu Agudos Agudos” in these words specificially.

R’ Aharon Kotler, in Mishnas Reb Aharon, discussed the words “Banim Attem LaHashem” at length. He explains that these words not only empower us, but they should affect our every action—we are the Bnei Malachim and should most certainly act accordingly. The reason that many do not act in the spirit of this Passuk, explains R’ Aharon, is because they focus on their own deficiencies. Rather than realizing that—while we may be lacking in some, or even many, areas—we are essentially Kadosh, we concentrate on our flaws and become distracted from our inherent Gadlus. R’ Aharon coins an apt phrase in his discussion of this Passuk, noting that anyone who serves Hashem is “M’Usid L’Gadlus”, destined for greatness. If we cling to this potential, which is a direct result of our status as Bnei Malachim, we will find ourselves acting the part even when we may not see ourselves in the role.

Taken together, the Pshat of the Chizkuni and the words of R’ Aharon, teach us what happens when we lose sight of our status as Banim LaMakom. When we forget how closely we are connected to Hashem, it can affect our every action, and even our most basic Emunah. The words “Banim Attem LaHashem” are therefore fundamental not only in times of grief, but at every moment. Indeed, they should be the very air we breathe.

As R’ Aharon noted, when we focus on our own personal flaws it causes us to forget who we really are—Banim LaMakom. When we encounter different groups within our great nation, these words are important as well. If, when presented with differing opinions and Machanos, we attempt to highlight that which we have in common, rather than our relatively minor differences, we will be able to maintain the dictate of “Lo Sasimu Agudos Agudos.”

Thus, both Mitzvos that stem from the words “Lo Sisgodidu” are very much the same: they are both predicated on our ability to recognize that we are indeed Banim LaMakom, and use that understanding to influence our actions.

Perhaps there is a complimentary message in the very next Passuk which can help us live up to this ideal as well.

The Torah tells us: “Ki Am Kadosh Attah LaHashem Elokecha U’Becha Bachar Hashem Lihiyos Lo L’Am Segulah MiKol HaAmim.” These words are connected to the previous Passuk, that of “Lo Sisgodidu” by the word “Ki”, indicating that this reality, that we are the “Am Segulah”, should inform performance of this Mitzvah. Once the Torah told us that we are Banim, however, why did it need to tell us that we are the Am Segulah as well?

Maybe the answer lies in the word Segulah, which is sometimes translated as “treasured” but which may have a deeper connotation.

The Gemarah in Bava Kamma tells us that if one damages a child, he must put aside what is essentially a trust, which the child will benefit from when he grows older as compensation for the damages. The Mishna refers to this as a “Segula” and the Gemarah explains that the way to do this is by purchasing a date tree, which will give off fruit. We see then that a “Segula” is not merely a fixed sum of money, but rather an income producing investment.

The Torah tells us that we are the “Am Seguah”, which we generally understand to be a term of endearment, the “treasured nation”. Perhaps, however, the implication of the words “Segulah” is that we provide something to Hashem as well. Though He certainly does not need our Mitzvos, there is a concept of a “Nachas Ruach”, that Hashem in some way enjoys our Mitzvos, Kaviyachol. In this way we are a Segulah: when we travel the Derech Hashem, we produce for Him, in that we create a Nachas Ruach.

This thought can help us in our observance of the Mitzvah of “Lo Sasimu Agudos Agudos”, which has many applications that relate to the way that others carry out their Avodas Hahsem. Each of us has a tendency to look at our own “Derech” as correct, causing a lack of appreciation for the Mehalech of others. If we appreciate our status as the Am Segulah, however, we will recognize that even those who may have alternate Minhagim or practices are creating a Nachas Ruach for Hakadosh Baruch Hu with their actions.

As we approach Chodesh Elul, there are many ways to prepare ourselves for the coming Yimei HaDin. Perhaps some initial steps can be found in these Pessukim. We can try to reinforce our own identities as members of the Am Segulah, recognizing the impact we can have with our actions and strengthen our relationship with Avinu Shebashamayim, He who refers to us as his very own Banim.