Service with a Song

Kapital 116 begins with the words “Ahavti Ki Yishma Es Koli Tachanunai…” and is immediately familiar as one of the Perakim said as part of Hallel. Although the first half of this Kapital is only included when Hallel HaShalem is said, the second half, beginning with the words “Mah Ashiv Lahashem ” is also included in Chatzi Hallel, and is therefore said quite often. It seems, however, that while Teffilas Hallel is said on many different occasions throughout the year, it maintains a special connection with the Yom Tov of Pesach.

Not only is Hallel said each day of Yom Tov as part of Shachris, it is said at the Seder as well. This is the only time of year that Hallel is said at night and the only time when one says Hallel without a Minyan. In addition, many have the Minhag to say Hallel not only during the Seder but also following Maariv, further indicating that there exists a special relationship between this Mitzvah and Yom Tov.

This connection is not surprising, given the way that Chazal defines Hallel. The Gemara in Arvei Pesachim discusses Hallel at length, asking: “Hallel Zeh Mi Amro?”. The issue at hand is not who wrote the Perakim—the Gemarah later attributes them to Dovid Hamelech—rather, the question is who assembled these particular Kapitlach into a unit called “Hallel”. The Gemara answers: “Neviim SheBeinehem Tiknu Lahem L’Yisroel Sheyihu Omrin Oso Al Kol Perek U’Perek…U’LiShenigalin Omrim Oso Al Geulasan”. The Neviim were Misaken that Hallel should be said on any appropriate occasion, and specifically when we experience Geulah. Pesach, the Yom Tov of Geulah, certainly fits that rubric, and it is, therefore, understandable that Hallel plays such a central role in its Avodah.

It also stands to reason that these Pessukim, which indeed have such a strong connection to Pesach, can also teach us something about the Yom Tov and its essence.

Rashi explains that Dovid Hamelech wrote this Perek after Shaul was Niftar, and he was, therefore, safe from further persecution. The Pessukim that follow can be divided into two distinct parts, along the same lines as the way they are divided in Hallel, each with a distinct tone.

The first half of the Perek conveys the relief that Dovid Hamelech must have felt at that time: he had been relentlessly pursued by Shaul and his associates and could now stop fleeing. At the outset, Dovid establishes that his Yeshua came because Hashem heard his pleas, “Ki Hita Ozno Li U’Biyamai Ekra”. Although he had been in a perilous and painful situation, “Afefuni Chavlei Maves…Tzarai V’Yagon Emtzah”, and he had cried to Hashem, “U’Bshem Hashem Ekra Ana Hashem Malta Nafshi…”

This portion of the Perek continues with praise of HKBH, framed in the context of the moment. HKBH is referred to as “Chanun” and “Tzadik”, and Radak explains that this is why Dovid called out to Hashem. This implies that Dovid felt that he was perhaps not worthy of Hatava and relied on the Rachmei Shamayim. Similarly, the next Passuk says, “Shomer Pesaim Hashem Dalosi V’Li Yehoshia,” indicating that Dovid saw himself as lacking merit and recognized that Hashem saved him nonetheless.

The Pessukim continue in this vein, as Dovid once again speaks about the precariousness of the situation he had been in, “Ki Chilatzta Nafshi MiMaves…” and the fact that he called out to Hashem despite his own flaws, “He’eamnti Ki Adaber Ani Anisi Me’od…”

The second section of this Perek has a decidedly different, more celebratory tone. Dovid asks: “Mah Ashiv L’Hahsem Kol Tagmalohi Alai…” Recognizing all that HKBH has done for him, Dovid wonders how he can ever repay his debt. His answer, as we often find in Tehillim, is to offer Shevach V’Hoda’ah for all to hear: “Kos Yeshuos Esa U’Bishem Hashem Ekra…” Dovid Hamelech understood that the way to “repay” HKBH for Hatava is to bring Ribuy Kvod Shamayim: “Nidarai L’Hashem Ashalem Negda Nah L’Kol Amo”. He would bring the Korbanos and fulfill any other Nedarim he had made in his time of need but would do so specifically in front of the masses so that the Nissim would be publicized.

So important is this idea that it is repeated again at the very end of the Perek. Dovid once again promises to bring Korbanos, “Lecha Ezbach Zevach Todah”, but this vow is also accompanied by “B’Shem Hashem Ekra” so that the Korbanos have the effect of allowing others to appreciate the Chasdei Hashem that he experienced. Then, he repeats his earlier promise: “Nidarai L’Hashem Ashalem Negda Nah L’Kol Amo”, adding that he will do so “B’Chatzros Bais Hashem B’Sochiechei Yerushalayim”, in a public setting.

As much the theme of Hallel V’Hoda’ah runs through this part of the Perek, there is one Passuk that seems to stand apart: “Ana Hashem Ki Ani Avdecha Ani Avdecha Ben Amasecha Pitachta L’Moseirai”. These words seem to be more a Teffilah rather than an expression of Hoda’ah, as indicated by the word “Ana”. Ibn Ezra explains, however, that the word “Ana” has a dual meaning: although it can be understood as a Lashon of Teffilah, it can be used as an expression of Hoda’ah as well, as it is here. Radak explains that Dovid attributes the Yeshuas Hashem to the fact that he is Eved Hashem “Ana Hashem Ki Ani Avdecha”.

This explanation of these words is somewhat difficult to understand, for a few reasons. First, as we have seen, in the first half of the Perek Dovid expresses the belief that he did not have a Zechus to be saved, “Shomer Pesaim Hashem Dalosi V’Li Yehoshia’. If so, why here does he assign cause to his status as an Eved Hashem? By the same token, in as far as this is the part of the Perek dedicated to Hallel V’Hodaah, why does Dovid choose to claim some merit, suggesting that he was indeed saved because he was an Eved?

Perhaps there is a different way to explain these words that will also allow us new insight into the approaching Yom Tov.

Although Dovid Hamelech often refers to himself as an “Eved”—there are tens of Perakim in Tehillim in which this honorific is found—Chazal seem to find special meaning in this instance.

There is a Perek much earlier in Tehillim which begins with the words “Lamenatzeach L’Eved Hashem”, and the Medrash Tehillim there tells us: “Kol Mi SheHu Kara Atzmo Eved Karo HKBH Eved”. We find that any time in Tanach a person called himself an Eved of Hashem he was also referred to as such by HKBH. The Medrash cites several examples of this truism, beginning with Avrohom Avinu, who said “Al Nah Tavor M’Al Avdecha” and was later referred to by HKBH with the words “Ba’avur Avrohom Avdi.” When it comes to Dovid Hamelech, the Medrash brings the words “Ana Hashem Ki Ani Avdecha”, and the corresponding Passuk from Sefer Shmuel: “B’Yad Dovid Avdi Hoshea”.

There are two questions that can be asked on this Medrash. In a general sense, we must understand why it is true that “Kol Mi SheHu Kara Atzmo Eved Karo HKBH Eved”. Why does a person calling himself an Eved have this reflexive effect, causing HKBH to call him an Eved in turn? More specifically, we must understand why Chazal chose this Passuk to illustrate the fact that Dovid called himself an Eved—if there are many instances of this term throughout Tehillim, why are the words “Ana Hashem Ki Ani Avdecha” used as the example of “Kol Mi SheHu Kara Atzmo Eved”?

These questions are important to answer not only so that we may better understand the Passuk and the Medrash, but also because they seem central to the Yom Tov of Pesach.

The Yerushalmi in the fifth Perek of Pesachim describes exactly what happened at the moment of Yetzias Mitzrayim. At that time, Pharoah’s voice was given the Koach to be heard throughout the land, and he ordered Bnei Yisroel to leave, saying: “Kumu Tzeu Mitoch Ami.” This would seem to be enough of a declaration from our oppressor, but he continued: “L’Sheavar Hayisem Avdei Pharoah Mikan V’Eilech Attem Avdei Hashem.” Although we had been my slaves of Phraoah until that moment, he was now telling us that we would henceforth live as Avdei Hashem.

It emerges that the Geulah that we celebrate on Pesach was not only a moment of redemption but also one of transition: we went from being Avdei Pharoah to being Avdei Hashem. Perhaps, if we examine the concept of Avdus—and what it means to be Avdei Hashem—through the lens of this transition, we will better be able to understand the words “Ana Hashem Ki Ani Avdecha” as Chazal see them. R’ Leib Chasman, in Ohr Yahal to Parshas Re’eh, explains the essence of Avdus in simple terms: “HaEved Ain B’Machshavaso Ela Retzon Adonav Bein Im Yavin Oh Lo”. An Eved is concerned only with the Ratzon of his master, whether or not he comprehends it. The mark of a true Eved is that he seeks ways, both big and small, to fulfill this Ratzon—his entire existence is dedicated to his Adon, a reality that he reinforces with his every action.

The Mashgiach also notes that an Eved does not own anything—his possessions exist only so that he may use them in the service of his Adon, and anything he acquires belongs to his Adon: “Mah SheKannah Eved Kannah Rabo”. As a result, his very sustenance relies wholly and completely on the benevolence of his master—a reality that sets him apart starkly from a Ben Chorin.

On the night of Yetzias Mitzrayim, we transitioned from Avdei Pharoah to Avdei Hashem, as the Yerushalmi tells us. We were no longer servants of the Mitzriyim, but we were not Bnei Chorin: we had a new Adon. Just as any Eved, we would now live an existence of “Ain B’Machshavaso Ela Retzon Adonav” and “Mah SheKannah Eved Kannah Rabo”. Our lives would now be dedicated to Avodas Hashem, and our entire existence would be based on our abilities to adequately fulfill the Ratzon HaBorei.

It seems that the title of Eved Hashem is not earned—it was bestowed upon us on that fateful night, “Mikan V’Eilech Attem Avdei Hashem.” Of course, this is a daunting task, and we may accept this mantel with a measure of trepidation, but it seems that the proper attitude was taught to us by a very surprising character.

The Medrash Tehillim on the words “Hallelu Avdei Hashem” tells the story of Yetzias Mitzrayim slightly differently than the way it is brought in Yerushalmi. There, the Medrash tells us that Pharoah came to Moshe and Aharon in the middle of the night, during Makkas Bechoros, and pled with them to leave that night. Moshe responded that they were unable to do so because HBKH had commanded them to stay inside, “V’Atem Lo Tetzu Ish M’Pesach Baiso Ad HaBoker.”

Pharoah, however, was distressed because he thought that the Makkah would destroy his entire population, and Moshe, therefore, told him that if he proclaimed the Yidden to be free, the Makkah would abate. The Medrash concludes, telling us that Pharoah cried out “L’Sheavar Hayisem Avdei Pharoah Mikan V’Eilech Attem Avdei Hashem”, the same Nusach as the Yerushalmi, but then adds “Tzrichim Attem L’Hallel Lo SheAtem Avdo”.

We learn from Pharaoh that the reality of “Mikan V’Eilech Attem Avdei Hashem” was itself to be accompanied by Hallel. We must approach our role as Avdei Hashem not with trepidation or anxiety but with Simcha. Understanding that our lives are dedicated to the Ratzon HaBorei in the guise of an Eved, “Ain B’Machshavaso Ela Retzon Adonav” is not limiting—it is freeing. HKBH gave us the Torah, outlining his Ratzon, and we, therefore, have our path set out for us—we need only be concerned with the Ratzonf of our Adon.

Similarly, an Eved relies solely on his master for his sustenance, and we are similarly dependent on the Borei Olam, the Kol Yachol. If we serve in our roles as Eved properly, we need not be concerned for our physical needs—our Adon will provide.

This was the message of Pharoah at the time of Yetzias Mitzrayim: “Tzrichim Attem L’Hallel Lo SheAtem Avdo”. Our new identity as Avdei Hashem was itself a cause for Hallel V’Hoda’ah.

This can help us understand the Medrash Tehillim: “Kol Mi SheHu Kara Atzmo Eved Karo HKBH Eved”. If a person understands that his entire existence is that of an Eved, then HKBH will view him as one as well, providing for him as an Adon must.

This is why the Medrash chose the words “Ana Hashem Ki Ani Avdecha” to illustrate the identity assumed by Dovid Hamelech. The word “Ana,” as we have seen, is an expression of Hoda’ah: in these words, Dovid, therefore, meets the dictate of Pharoah. He not only affirms his status as an Eved, but thanks HKBH for the privilege, fulfilling the directive issued so long before: “Tzrichim Attem L’Hallel Lo SheAtem Avdo”. Because Dovid made it clear that he understood not only his role as an Eved Hashem, but also its benefits and privilege, HKBH responded in kind, calling him an Eved.

This idea can help shape our mindset as we approach Zman Cheiruseinu. As we celebrate the moment of “L’Sheavar Hayisem Avdei Pharoah Mikan V’Eilech Attem Avdei Hashem”, we can also take into account the end of that statement, “Tzrichim Attem L’Hallel Lo SheAtem Avdo”. We must rejoice in our opportunity to serve Hashem as Avadim, recognizing the gift given to us as members of the Am HaNivchar. This Yom Tov is an opportunity to reignite both our focus on the Ratzon Hashem, in the guise of “Ain B’Machshavaso Ela Retzon Adonav”, and our reliance on our Adon for everything we need. If we do so correctly, we will be Zoche to the day of “Kos Yeshuos Esa U’Bshem Hashem Ekra…”