True Happiness

This week we Lein the last of the Shiva D’Nechemta, marking the end of a ten-week period during which Chazal, through their Takana, focus our attention on the Churban and Geulah. The structure of our calendar is also such that this Haftorah is always read on the Shabbos that immediately proceeds Rosh Hashana itself. It is interesting to note that Chazal were Misaken specific Haftoros to be read before other Moadim, such as Purim, Pesach and Tisha B’Av, but not before Rosh Hashana. We must therefore assume that this Haftorah serves a dual purpose—besides the message of Nechama that it carries, we should be able to find a lesson that will help us frame our mindset as we approach the Yom Hadin.

The Haftorah, which comes from the end of Sefer Yeshaya, is once again focused on the Geulah in a general sense. There is also a specific emphasis on our relationship with the Borei Olam, which will be taken to new heights during that glorious time. The Hafotrah begins with the words “Sos Asis BaHashem”, as the Navi promises us that our Simcha at that time will be with Hashem. This renewed relationship will change our entire existence, as we will transition from being called “Azuva”, forsaken, to “Cheftzi Bah”, those who are desired. Similarly, Eretz Yisroel will no longer be “Shomema”, desolate, it will be “B’ulah”, inhabited.

Perhaps because it is sometimes difficult for us to imagine what a truly blissful relationship with our creator truly means, the Navi provides us with a metaphor: “UMiSos Chosson Al Kallah Yasis Alaich Elokayich.” Following the Geulah, we are promised, HKBH will rejoice with us as a Chosson does with his Kallah.

The Meforshim are largely silent when it comes to these words, owning to the fact that they are relatively easy to understand. Metzudos notes that the Simcha that Hashem will display towards us at that time will be “Kemo”, similar, to the Simcha felt by a Chassan towards his Kallah. Radak further explains that the Lashon of the Passuk is precise: a married couple is called Chassan and Kallah only on the day of their Chuppah, when their simcha is escalated by the newness of their relationship. Accordingly, the Passuk is telling us that this level of Simcha will endure in our relationship with Hashem following the Geulah: we will always feel like a Chosson and Kallah.

This description is indeed simple to understand, but maybe deceptively so.

We can relate to the Simcha felt by a newly married couple, but how does this manifest itself when it comes to our relationship with HKBH? Much of the way a Chosson and Kallah relate to each other is based in an emotional and very human connection—how do we understand this when it comes to the Kaviyachol?

In addition, the words of the Passuk itself are somewhat curious. There are many ways to describe joy in Lashon Hakodesh, yet here the Navi specifically uses the word Sasson: “UMiSos Chosson Al Kallah Yasis Alaich Elokayich”. In order to truly understand the meaning of this Passuk, we must grasp the implication of this word.

In a similar vein, the way the Navi describes our new relationship seems almost one-way: Hashem will rejoice upon us in the way a Chosson rejoices about his Kallah. At a wedding one assumes that both the Chosson and Kallah feel a sense of elation—why here does the Passuk speak only about the Simcha the Chosson feels about the Kallah?

Interestingly, these words appear in a Medrash describing the way Hashem relates to us even now, which can perhaps shed some light on their true meaning.

The Medrash Tanchuma at the end of Parshas Vayishlach tells us: “Amar HKBH B’Olam Hazeh Atem Chotim Al Yidei Yetzer Harah…V’Af Al Pi Ken Ain Shechinasi Zazah Michem”. Hashem tells us that although we succumb to the Yetzer Harah and commit Aveiros, causing us to become Meshubad to the Umos HaOlam, the Shechina never departs from within our midst. The Medrash continues, citing Pessukim which show that not only does Hashem remain with us, but he feels pain when we do, Kaviyachol, and is Mesameach with us. One of the Pessukim brought in the Medrash is “UMiSos Chosson Al Kallah Yasis Alaich Elokayich”. The Medrash concludes, telling us that this concept is connected to a Passuk in Tehillim : “Hevei Kol Orchos Hashem Chesed V’Emes”.

Chazal seem to be telling us that the Hanhaga of HKBH described in the Medrash, “V’Af Al Pi Ken Ain Shechinasi Zazah Michem” is based on the concept of “Kol Orchos Hashem Chesed V’Emes”. This would mean that the relationship described in the Passuk here, “UMiSos Chosson Al Kallah Yasis Alaich Elokayich” is also rooted in that idea. Explaining these words would therefore allow us to better understand the words of the Navi.

In some ways Chesed and Emes seem diametrically opposed: Chesed is kindness, rooted in Rachamim, whereas Emes, truth, would seem to be related to Din. How then can we understand the intersection of these Middos?

The Passuk in Tehillim is of course not the first time these words appear in tandam, indeed the final wishes of the Bichir Shebavos was based this apparently dueling set of Middos. The Torah tells us, in Parshas Veyechi, that at the end of Yaakov Avinu’s life, he called Yosef Hatzaddik to his bedside and made a request: “V’Asisa Imadi Chesed V’Emes Al Nah Tikbireini B’Mitzrayim.”

R’ Hirsch notes this apparent contradiction, and explains these words with his signature approach.

The word Chesed, he explains, is similar to the word Eshed, which means to spill over. Chesed is therefore an expression of spilling oneself, so to speak for another, or giving yourself over in totality for the sake of someone else. Sometimes, though, this comes at the expense of what is right: so eager are we to do for others that we do not take into consideration whether it is in fact the Ratzon Haborei. That is where Emes comes in: when the two Middos are combined, the result is a Chesed that is based on the truth. We never wish to harm someone else, and with Emes our Chesed can achieve that goal to its fullest. The byproduct of Chesed V’Emes, R’ Hirsch explains, is true Ahava—when one does for someone else with only the purest of intentions.

R’ Hirsch provides an example of this potential pitfall. Avrohom Avinu was desperate for his only son, Yitzchok, to get married. The Middas Hachesed dictated that he arrange this marriage in all due haste, not necessarily taking fully into account the suitability of the Shidduch. Avrohom could have married Yitzchok off to one of the local Bnos Canaan and satisfied the needs of Chesed. But this would not have been Chesed V’Emes, because it was not an appropriate match for Zera Avrohom. The true love that Avrohom had for Yitzchok dictated that he send Eliezer to fetch a wife for Yitzchok, an act of Chesed V’Emes.

Yaakov knew that Yosef would wish to give his father a most impressive Kavod Acharon, and so he concerned that the urge to do this Chesed would outweigh that with was appropriate. He therefore begged his son: ““V’Asisa Imadi Chesed V’Emes”. Yes, do the Chesed, but let it be constrained by Emes, so that the true Ratzon Haborei is fulfilled.

When Dovid Hamelech declares “Kol Orchos Hashem Chesed V’Emes”, he is telling us that Hashem always acts with Chesed as defnied by the Emes: His love for us dictates how the Chesed manifests itself, and because it is always for our ultimate good, it is Emes at the deepest level.

Based on the Medrash Tanchuma, the relationship of “UMiSos Chosson Al Kallah” must also be defined by Chesed V’Emes. How is this true? Why does the Hanahaga of “Yasis Alaich Elokayich” specifically express the aspect of Kol Orchos Hashem Chesed V’Emes?

As we noted, there are many terms used to describe Simcha, each with its own implication. Perhaps there is a way to explain the word Sasson, used here, to help understand this concept.

The Chofetz Chaim, in Shem Olam, brings an explanation of the word Sasson based on a teaching of the Gr”a.

The Passuk in Tehillim says “Sas Anochi Al Imrasecha K’Motzei Shalal Rav”. Using the term Sasson, our Simcha relating to the Torah is compared to one who finds a great treasure or bounty.

The Gr”a explains this PAssuk by relating a Mashul. When an army vanquishes its enemy, it can take advantage of the bounty left behind. Sometimes, however, when they happen upon the bounty they realize that there is limited time with which to collect their spoils, before they must move on. The emotion that accompanies this recognition is Sasson. As the Gr”a explains, Sasson is Simcha accompanied by “Tuga” a twinge of grief. The spoils are there for the taking, but it is impossible to snatch them all, and Sasson therefore reigns. When we appreciate the vastness of Torah, a similar emotion is felt: we wish we to gather all its jewels, but it is just not feasible. This leads to Sasson.

In some ways this approach is problematic when it comes to our Passuk. How can Hashem be seen as feeling “Sasson” when it comes to Klal Yisroel? He is not constrained by any limits, and certainly would feel no grief as a result, what then is the expression of “Sasson” as it relates to the love HKBH has for Klal Yisroel?

The answer can be found if we look at what lies beneath a feeling of Sasson.

If the conquering army enters their enemy camp but does not understand that precious gems lie before them, they won’t feel any “Tuga” about their inability to gather them all. Sasson, then, can only really be felt if one appreciates the value of the Shalal Rav.. The emotion of Sasson itself belies an awareness of the true value of its object.

The Navi tells us: “UMiSos Chosson Al Kallah Yasis Alaich Elokayich”. After the Geulah we will become aware of the fact that Hashem acts towards us with Sasson, an appreciation for our value that far exceeds our own conception. Hashem knows who we truly are, and what we are really capable of, and so he relates to us with Sasson. This Sasson, however, is unmarred by Tuga because it is the Simcha of a Chosson and Kallah—one that is based on Chesed V’Emes. Whatever HKBH does for us is based on true Ahava and the Chesed is always in the realm of Emes—nothing is lacking.

These words are not about a one-way relationship, but about the way that we will see the Hanhaga of HKBH in this world. We will understand that “MiSos Chosson Al Kallah Yasis Alaich Elokayich” the way that Hashem provides for us is in the manner of Chesed V’Emes and based on a better understanding of our value that we ourselves have.

As we approach Rosh Hashana, these ideas can help shape our Avodah. We have one goal on the Yom HaDin: to renew our commitment to the Malchus of HKBH. If we reflect on the fact that HKBH can relate to us with Sasson, and that he provides for us with the Middos Chesed V’Emes as personified by the relationship of Choson V’Kallah , we will be brought closer to this goal. These thoughts will invigorate us, sparking within us the notion that we are valuable as members of the Am Hanivchar and a true desire to do the Ratzon Hashem. Perhaps in doning so we will be Zoche this year to welcome the Geulah as The Bah M’Edom comes to redeem us B’Ahavaso U’Vichemlaso.