Growing Up: The Gratitude of Moshe Rabbeinu

Matos

Growing Up

נְקֹם נִקְמַת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל מֵאֵת הַמִּדְיָנִים אַחַר תֵּאָסֵף אֶל־עַמֶּיךָ

נְקֹם נִקְמַת אַתָּה בְּעַצְמְךָ וְהוּא מְשַׁלֵּחַ אֶת אֲחֵרִים

At the beginning of Parshas Matos, Hashem gives a Tizvuy to Moshe Rabbeinu : קֹם נִקְמַת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל מֵאֵת הַמִּדְיָנִים אַחַר תֵּאָסֵף אֶל־עַמֶּיךָ. Bnei Yisroel had been victimized by the מִּדְיָנִים, causing 24,000 to die in a מַגֵּפָה, and they were now to receive their comeuppance. As the next Passuk tells us, this Tizvuy was immediately put into motion, as Moshe began to raise an army: וַיְדַבֵּר מֹשֶׁה אֶל־הָעָם לֵאמֹר הֵחָלְצוּ מֵאִתְּכֶם אֲנָשִׁים לַצָּבָא. In fact, the Medrash points out the Mesiras Nefesh that accompanied these words: אִלּוּ הָיָה רוֹצֶה משֶׁה לִחְיוֹת כַּמָּה שָׁנִים הָיָה חַי, שֶׁאָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא נְקֹם וְאַחַר תֵּאָסֵף. If Moshe Rabbeinu wished to live longer he would have delayed the attack on Midyan , for it was clear that his Petirah would only occur after that war: נְקֹם נִקְמַת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל מֵאֵת הַמִּדְיָנִים אַחַר תֵּאָסֵף. Instead, Moshe Rabbeinu acted immediately in concert with the instructions given by HKBH.

Later, however, the Medrash notes a slight diversion in the actions of Moshe Rabbeinu .

After describing the composition of the army that Moshe raised, the Passuk tells us: וַיִּשְׁלַח אֹתָם מֹשֶׁה אֶלֶף לַמַּטֶּה לַצָּבָא אֹתָם וְאֶת־פִּינְחָס בֶּן־אֶלְעָזָר הַכֹּהֵן. Moshe Rabbeinu sent the army, led by Pinchas, to do battle with the מִּדְיָנִים, leading to a spectacular victory.

The Medrash, however, points out: אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְמשֶׁה נְקֹם נִקְמַת, אַתָּה בְּעַצְמְךָ, וְהוּא מְשַׁלֵּחַ אֶת אֲחֵרִים. Hashem told Moshe Rabbeinu to attack the מִּדְיָנִים, but he sent others in his stead. This would seem to be a diversion from the Tzivuy of KHBH: if Hashem told Moshe to wage war on his own, why did he send Pinchas to lead the army instead?

The Medrash answers: אֶלָּא מִפְּנֵי שֶׁנִּתְגַּדֵּל בְּאֶרֶץ מִדְיָן אָמַר אֵינוֹ בְּדִין שֶׁאֲנִי מֵצֵר לְמִי שֶׁעָשָׂה בִּי טוֹבָה. Moshe Rabbeinu felt that since he had spent time in Midyan , in the home of his father-in-law Yisro , it was not appropriate for him to strike them. It was for this reason that he sent Pinchas to lead the army and stayed back. The Medrash continues, bringing a Mashal to illustrate the point: הַמָּשָׁל אוֹמֵר בּוֹר שֶׁשָּׁתִיתָ מִמֶּנּוּ אַל תִּזְרֹק בּוֹ אֶבֶן, one should not throw a rock into the well from which he drank.

In one sense, this Medrash sounds somewhat similar to another well-known Mamar Chazal.

;::

The Passuk in Parsahs

Va’era tells us that Hashem spoke to Moshe and said: אֱמֹר אֶל־אַהֲרֹן קַח מַטְּךָ וּנְטֵה־יָדְךָ עַל־מֵימֵי מִצְרַיִם עַל־נַהֲרֹתָם  עַל־יְאֹרֵיהֶם וְעַל־אַגְמֵיהֶם וְעַל כׇּל־מִקְוֵה מֵימֵיהֶם וְיִהְיוּ־דָם. The first Makkah was brought about by Aharon Hakohen stretching his hand over the waters of Mitzrayim and then hitting them, turning them to Dam.

The Medrash Rabba, there, brings a question from R’ Tanchum: לָמָּה לֹא לָקוּ הַמַּיִם עַל יְדֵי משֶׁה? Why was it Aharon who hit the water and not Moshe Rabbeinu ? The Medrash answers: אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא הַמַּיִם שֶׁשְּׁמָרוּךָ כְּשֶׁהֻשְׁלַכְתָּ לַיְאוֹר אֵינוֹ דִין שֶׁיִּלְקוּ עַל יָדֶךָ. Since the waters of the river protected Moshe Rabbeinu when he was a child, it was not appropriate for him to be the one to strike the water. The same Memra is brought for the second Makkah, when Aharon was once again told נְטֵה אֶת־יָדְךָ בְּמַטֶּךָ עַל־הַנְּהָרֹת עַל־הַיְאֹרִים וְעַל־הָאֲגַמִּים in order to bring the צְפַרְדְּעִים. Similarly, when Moshe is told אֱמֹר אֶל־אַהֲרֹן נְטֵה אֶת־מַטְּךָ וְהַךְ אֶת־עֲפַר הָאָרֶץ וְהָיָה לְכִנִּם בְּכׇל־אֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם, the Medrash explains: אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְמשֶׁה עָפָר שֶׁהֵגֵן עָלֶיךָ כְּשֶׁהָרַגְתָּ אֶת הַמִּצְרִי אֵינוֹ דִין שֶׁיִּלְקֶה עַל יָדֶךָ. Since the earth hid the Mitzri that died at the hands of Moshe Rabbeinu , it was not appropriate for him to hit the ground in order to bring the כִנִּם.

The Medrash here seems to be in line with the Medrashim in Shemos Rabba: just as Moshe Rabbeinu could not hit the river or the earth out of a sense of Hakaras Hatov , it was not appropriate for him to be directly involved in the attack on Midyan , as the Medrash explains: מִפְּנֵי שֶׁנִּתְגַּדֵּל בְּאֶרֶץ מִדְיָן אָמַר אֵינוֹ בְּדִין שֶׁאֲנִי מֵצֵר לְמִי שֶׁעָשָׂה בִּי טוֹבָה.

There is, however, an important distinction between the Pessukim in Parshas Shemos and the Passuk here: in Mitzrayim , it was Hashem who told Moshe אֱמֹר אֶל־אַהֲרֹן each time—the actual Tzivuy was for Moshe to tell Aharon to do carry out those actions that he himself could not. In this case, however, Hashem told Moshe נְקֹם נִקְמַת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל מֵאֵת הַמִּדְיָנִים, as the Medrash notes, נְקֹם נִקְמַת, אַתָּה בְּעַצְמְךָ. HKBH could have told Moshe to send Pinchas or Elazar HaKohen , but the Tizvuy was not given that way. Why, then, did Moshe Rabbeinu decide to send a שָׁלִיחַ on his own? If he was correct that אֵינוֹ בְּדִין שֶׁאֲנִי מֵצֵר לְמִי שֶׁעָשָׂה בִּי טוֹבָה, then Hashem should have told him to send someone else, as was the case those years before. How can we understand the Medrash?

There are two more questions that must also be addressed to properly understand the Medrash.

First, what is added by the Mashal that the Medrash brings? We can understand that Moshe felt a sense of Hakaras Hatov towards Midyan and therefore did not want to personally participate in the war against them—why is a Mashal necessary to illustrate the point? What is added by the words בּוֹר שֶׁשָּׁתִיתָ מִמֶּנּוּ אַל תִּזְרֹק בּוֹ אֶבֶן?

We must also understand why Moshe indeed felt that sense of Hakaras Hatov to Midyan . The Medrash tells us that Moshe was נִּתְגַּדֵּל בְּאֶרֶץ מִדְיָן and therefore said אֵינוֹ בְּדִין שֶׁאֲנִי מֵצֵר לְמִי שֶׁעָשָׂה בִּי טוֹבָה, but it is hard to understand how this was the case.

The Pessukim in Parshas Shemos do not give us context as to the travels of Moshe Rabbeinu —only that he fled Mitzrayim and came to Midyan : וַיִּבְרַח מֹשֶׁה מִפְּנֵי פַרְעֹה וַיֵּשֶׁב בְּאֶרֶץ־מִדְיָן וַיֵּשֶׁב עַל־הַבְּאֵר. Chazal, however, teach us that there was quite a gap between the time that Moshe Rabbeinu left Mitzrayim and when he reached the בְּאֵר.

The Seder HaDoros tells us that Moshe Rabbeinu left Mitzrayim at the age of eighteen and went to the land of Kush, where he was appointed king some nine years later. The Medrashim indicate that his reign in Kush lasted forty years, but he was eventually ousted and he then fled to Midyan . Even once he reached Midyan , however, his trials were not over.

The Yalkut Shimoni in Parshas Shemos tells us that when Moshe arrived in Midyan and repeated the story of his life, Yisro felt he might be able to use Moshe as a bargaining chip to curry favor with Kush, and therefore put him in prison. It was only after ten years, during which time he had no food or drink, that Tzipporah begged her father to release the prisoner, and they were married. Based on the dates in the Seder HaOlam and the Yalkut , it seems that Hashem first appeared to Moshe only three later, shortly after which he returned to Mitzrayim .

Based on these Medrashim , it is difficult to understand why Moshe felt that he was נִּתְגַּדֵּל בְּאֶרֶץ מִדְיָן. He lived there as a free man for only a short amount of time, at a relatively late stage of his life. If the Medrash said that Moshe felt Hakaras Hatov to Midyan because he had lived there, that would be understandable on some level, but the words נִּתְגַּדֵּל בְּאֶרֶץ מִדְיָן seem to indicate something more significant. What might that be?

It seems that there is another Medrash that must be taken in account in order to properly understand the impact of the time that Moshe Rabbienu spent in Midyan .

When Moshe was brought to the home of Yisro , the Torah tells us: וַיּוֹאֶל מֹשֶׁה לָשֶׁבֶת אֶת־הָאִישׁ וַיִּתֵּן אֶת־צִפֹּרָה בִתּוֹ לְמֹשֶׁה. The words וַיּוֹאֶל מֹשֶׁה are unfamiliar, but the Medrash there explains: שֶׁנִּשְׁבַּע לוֹ, וְאֵין וַיּוֹאֶל אֶלָּא לְשׁוֹן שְׁבוּעָה, Moshe made a שְׁבוּעָה to Yisro at that time. The Medrash continues, explaining why Yisro required Moshe Rabbeinu to make a שְׁבוּעָה before marrying Tzipporah: אָמַר לוֹ יוֹדֵעַ אֲנִי שֶׁיַּעֲקֹב אֲבִיכֶם כְּשֶׁנָּתַן לוֹ לָבָן בְּנוֹתָיו, נְטָלָן וְהָלַךְ לוֹ חוּץ מִדַּעְתּוֹ. Yisro did not want Moshe to abscond with his duagher and grandchildren, like Yaakov Avinu had, and he asked Moshe to make a שְׁבוּעָה in this regard. The Medrash concludes: מִיָּד נִשְׁבַּע לוֹ וְנָתַן לוֹ אֶת צִפֹּרָה.

It emerges that even when he was a free man, so to speak, Moshe was in Midyan against his will, as Rashi on the words וַיּוֹאֶל מֹשֶׁה tells us: נִשְׁבַּע לוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יָזוּז מִמִּדְיָן, Moshe could not leave Midyan without the permission of Yisro . Yet, even as he was there not of his own volition, Moshe Rabbeinu felt that he could not participate in the battle against Miday because אֵינוֹ בְּדִין שֶׁאֲנִי מֵצֵר לְמִי שֶׁעָשָׂה בִּי טוֹבָה. Why? What occurred during his time in Midyan that had such an impact on the life of Moshe Rabbeinu ?

R’ Zalman Sorotzkin, in Aznayim L’Torah on Parshas Shemos , asks a related question: why was it that Moshe Rabbeinu , the ultimate גּוֹאֵל יִשְׂרָאֵל was forced to live in Midyan at all? In fact, R’ Zalman notes that a full two-thirds of Moshe’s lifetime were spent among the Goyim, outside the Machaneh Yisroel. Why? What was the purpose in this?

To answer this question, R’ Zalman explains that there were at least five ways in which Moshe Rabbeinu benefited from his time outside Mitzrayim .

First, the sensitivity of Moshe Rabbeinu to his brethren's pain was itself superhuman. While living in Mitzrayim he left the house of Pharoah only twice, and in each case encountered painful situations. It would therefore have been impossible for him to survive living amongst Klal Yisroel the throes of the Shibud . Also, the effects of watching his brothers suffer would have broken Moshe, and no allowed him to speak with full authority to Pharaoh. In fact, R’ Zalman explains, that it was for this reason that Moshe and not Aharon who was given the task of speaking with Pharoah. Even though Shevet Levi was not enslaved, they were still persecuted and therefore subjugated, leaving Moshe in a better position to confront Pharaoh.

The fact that Moshe Rabbeinu lived outside Mitzrayim allowed him to be a more effective leader, for several reasons. First, as the saying goes אֵין נָבִיא בְּעִירוֹ: people have more respect for someone who is an outsider and Moshe was therefoe more acceptable to Klal Yisroel as a leader. Also, the words indicating that Moshe was indeed sent by HKBH, פַּקָּד פָּקַדְתִּי, were known to those who lived in Machaneh Yisroel. Therefore, if Moshe had lived in Mitzrayim , people would have assumed that he heard these words from his father and might therefore have been more skeptical of him. Finally, the Moshe’s life story was a message to all about their own capabilities, highlighting that a person can grow in any environment.

Based on these ideas, we can understand how Moshe Rabbeinu viewed his time in Midyan .

Although it might seem that the years spent in Midyan were anything but positive—Moshe was first imprisoned, and even once he was free, compelled by a שְׁבוּעָה to remain—but in the end, they were of critical importance. If Moshe had not stayed in Midyan , he would not have been able to lead Klal Yisroel and serve in his ultimate role as the גּוֹאֵל יִשְׂרָאֵל. It was for this reason that Moshe, perhaps counterintuitively, had such Hakaras Hatov to Midyan , feeling that he was נִּתְגַּדֵּל there and therefore could not participate in the war. Moshe understood that he was able to serve as the גּוֹאֵל יִשְׂרָאֵל because of his time in Midyan , and not in spite of it, and therefore said אֵינוֹ בְּדִין שֶׁאֲנִי מֵצֵר לְמִי שֶׁעָשָׂה בִּי טוֹבָה.

This sense of Hakaras Hatov , however, was far different than that of the river or earth of Mitzrayim . In those cases it was obvious that Moshe had been helped by these items—the water allowed him refuge and the earth covered the Mitzri —and so it was appropriate that HKBH instructed him not to strike them: אֵינוֹ דִין שֶׁיִּלְקוּ עַל יָדֶךָ.

When it came to Midyan , however, the sense of Hakaras Hatov had to come from Moshe himself. The Hakaras Hatov was only necessary if Moshe understood the impact that the years in Midyan had on his life—otherwise it would have been forced. It was for this reason that HKBH did not instruct Moshe to send a שָׁלִיחַ , but it was appropriate and acceptable for Moshe to send one nonetheless.

As we find ourselves in the period of בֵּין הַמְּצָרִים, the message of this Medrash is important. The outlook of אֵינוֹ בְּדִין שֶׁאֲנִי מֵצֵר לְמִי שֶׁעָשָׂה בִּי טוֹבָה that Moshe had toward Midyan is a reminder that the periods that seem the bleakest, in which גָּלוּת is the most amplified, can themselves be the impetus and cause of the ultimate גְּאֻלָּה.