Bitter Ends

רַבִּי אָבִין פָּתַח: הִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בַמְּרוֹרִים, בְּלֵילֵי הַפֶּסַח שֶׁל יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן, הִרְוַנִי לַעֲנָה, בְּתִשְׁעָה בְּאָב

The Passuk, in the third Perek of Eichah, speaks about the way we have been affected by the Churban: our lives are bitter as if we have been fed bitter herbs. Two words in this Passuk refer to bitterness, however: Merorim and La’ana. The Medrash, here, seeks to explain their presence in the Passuk: “הִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בַמְּרוֹרִים, בְּלֵילֵי הַפֶּסַח שֶׁל יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן, הִרְוַנִי לַעֲנָה, בְּתִשְׁעָה בְּאָב”. The Merorim, explains the Medrash, refers to the Maror that is eaten at the Seder, on the first night of Pesach, and the La’ana refers to the bitterness of Tish B’AV.

The Medrash continues, explaining this relationship: “מִמַּה שֶּׁהִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בְּלֵילֵי יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל פֶּסַח, הִרְוַנִי בְּלֵילֵי תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב לַעֲנָה”. In this understanding of the Medrash, the Passuk is understood as follows: we were overwhelmed on Tisha B’Av by that which HKBH satiated us on the first night of Pesach. Then, the Medrash points out an interesting feature of our calendar: “הֱוֵי בְּלֵילֵי יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל פֶּסַח הוּא לֵילֵי תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב”. Each year, Tisha B’Av falls out on the same night of the week as Pesach. The Medrash concludes: “וְעַל זֶה הָיָה מְקוֹנֵן יִרְמְיָה אֵיכָה יָשְׁבָה בָדָד”.

How are we meant to understand this Medrash? It is clear that there is a connection between Pesach and Tisha B’Av, as the calendar suggests, and the Medrash seems to tell us that this connection is established through the Marror. Why? Further, how are we to understand the words “הִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בַמְּרוֹרִים”? How does one become satiated by Merorim, and particularly at the Seder? Finally, how do we understand the rejoinder of the Medrash, “ְעַל זֶה הָיָה מְקוֹנֵן יִרְמְיָה אֵיכָה יָשְׁבָה בָדָד”? What is it about the relationship between Pesach and Tisha B’Av, forged in some way through the Marror, that led Yermiyahu to cry “אֵיכָה יָשְׁבָה בָדָד”?

It should be noted that there is another Medrash which ties Pesach to Tisha B’Av, though in a different manner.

The Passuk, towards the beginning of Eicha, says “גָּלְתָה יְהוּדָה מֵעֹנִי וּמֵרֹב עֲבֹדָה”, and the Medrash Rabba there tells us: “מֵעֹנִי, עַל שֶׁאָכְלוּ חָמֵץ בַּפֶּסַח, כְּמָה דְאַתְּ אָמַר (דברים טז, ג): לֹא תֹאכַל עָלָיו חָמֵץ שִׁבְעַת יָמִים תֹּאכַל עָלָיו מַצּוֹת לֶחֶם עֹנִי”. The reason for the Galus was that Bnei Yisroel ate Chometz on Pesach, as opposed to Matzach which the Passuk calls “לֶחֶם עֹנִי”.

This Medrash links Pesach to the Churban—it was the Avierah of eating Chometz on Pesach that brought us to Galus—and can therefore be understood as connecting the Pesach and Tisha B’Av, which of course fall out on the same day of the week. The Medrash on the words “הִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בַמְּרוֹרִים הִרְוַנִי לַעֲנָה”, however, seems to establish the connection based on the Mitzvah of Achilas Maror.

How can we understand this? What do the words “מִמַּה שֶּׁהִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בְּלֵילֵי יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל פֶּסַח, הִרְוַנִי בְּלֵילֵי תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב לַעֲנָה” really mean?

The truth is that there is a Medrash later in Eicha Rabba that is almost identical to this one, with one crucial change.

While the words “מִמַּה שֶּׁהִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בְּלֵילֵי יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל פֶּסַח, הִרְוַנִי בְּלֵילֵי תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב לַעֲנָה” first appear in the Pesichta, or introductory section, to Medrash Eicha Rabba, they are repeated later on, in the Medrash on the third Perek. There, however, the first part of the Drasha is brought slightly differently: “ הִשְׂבִּיעַנִּי בַמְּרוֹרִים, זֶה יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל פֶּסַח, דִּכְתִיב בּוֹ עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים”. This Medrash speaks about the connection between the Marror of Lei’l Seder and Tisha B’Av, but adds a Passuk, “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”.

It seems, based on this Medrash, that the subject of the words “מִמַּה שֶּׁהִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בְּלֵילֵי יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל פֶּסַח” is not Marror alone, but the Marror that is eaten in conjunction with Matzah, in the guise of “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”. How can we understand this? Indeed, Tisha B’Av is a bitter day and so perhaps we could understand that there is an innate connection between this day and the Marror, but this version of the Medrash adds an important element—Matzah. How can we explain this Drasha? Why does the Medrash tell us that “מִמַּה שֶּׁהִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בְּלֵילֵי יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל פֶּסַח”, which we now understand represents both Matzah and Marror, “הִרְוַנִי בְּלֵילֵי תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב לַעֲנָה”?

To answer these questions, it seems necessary to better understand the Mitzvah of “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”, so that we can explain its connection to Tisha B’Av.

The Likutei Yehudah, in Parshas Achrei Mos, brings the words of his grandfather the Imrei Emes, who draws an important distinction between two of our Yomim Tovim: Yom Kippur and Pesach.

The Mishna in Meseches Kelim tells us: “עֶשֶׂר קְדֻשּׁוֹת הֵן”, and then goes on to list the ten levels of Kedusha each of which is more Kadosh than the one before it. The first level is the entirety of Eretz Yisroel, , and the Kedusha increases incrementally until the highest level: “קֹדֶשׁ הַקֳּדָשִׁים מְקֻדָּשׁ מֵהֶם” . This, explains the Imrei Emes, defines Yom Kippur: the Aseres Yimei Teshuva represent the ascending levels of Kedusha that culminate in the day on which the Kohen Gadol enters the Kodesh HaKedoshim. This is because Yom Kippur requires an Elul, Rosh Hashana and Aseres Yimei Teshuva leading up to it, for the only way one can take advantage of the Kedusha of Yom Kippur, and the opportunity for Tahara, is if he is prepared beforehand.

Pesach, on the other hand, is different: the very name of the Yom Tov connotes Dilug, or skipping a step, because Pesach offers the opportunity to access increased levels of Kedusha without preparation or incremental phases. The Kedusha of Pesach allows us to reach Madreigos that we otherwise might not, and it is the days of Sefira that follow which offer Tahara.

In his Pirush on the Haggadah, the Lekutei Yehuda brings the words of his grandfather, who explained that this aspect of Pesach is revealed in the Mitzvah of “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”. Matzah, he notes, represents Kedusha and Mitzvos, while Marror represents that which stands opposed. Normally, we must eliminate, or at least ameliorate, the Marror inside of us before attempting to reach increased levels of Kedusha, but on Pesach, the Torah tells us “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”. On this Yom Tov, we can achieve greatness even while the Marror remains.

The reason that this is possible on Pesach, explains the Imrei Emes, because Pesach is a Yom Tov on which the Ahava between HKBH and Klal Yisroel is at a pinnacle and, as Chazal tell us, “אַהֲבָה מְקַלְקֶלֶת אֶת הַשּׁוּרָה”. True Ahava has the ability to eliminate barriers and overcome the natural order. Therefore, on Pesach, when our relationship with HKBH is at the highest level of Ahava, we can be “מְקַלְקֶלֶ אֶת הַשּׁוּרָה”, and experience supernatural growth.

While the increased levels of Ahava that exist on Pesach offer a boundless opportunity for growth, even as the Marror remains within us, any increase or decrease in this connection can affect this equation. At times that Ahava exists between HKBH and Klal Yisroel, it is easier to experience growth even as we are less than perfect—when this Ahava is decreased, however, this process follows the natural order.

Our Kiyum of the words “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ” occurs during Korech, a part of the Seder that is introduced with the words “זֵכֶר לַמִּקְדָּשׁ כְּהִלֵּל”. This is because the levels of Ahava necessary for this Mitzvah, for the growth symbolized by the words “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ” is only possible when the Bais HaMikdash is standing. Only when the Ahava between HKBH and Klal Yisroel is at its apex can we take full advantage of this opportunity, experiencing Matzah even while the Marror explains.

The Churban, and ensuing Galus, eliminate the highest levels of Ahava, inhibiting our ability to reach higher while the Marror within us persists. When our most direct connection to the Shechina was severed, the Ahava in our relationship suffered harm, and is not longer “מְקַלְקֶלֶת אֶת הַשּׁוּרָה”. In Galus, growth is much more difficult, as our imperfections hold us back, and more effort is demanded of us.

“מִמַּה שֶּׁהִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בְּלֵילֵי יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל פֶּסַח, הִרְוַנִי בְּלֵילֵי תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב לַעֲנָה”

On Tisha B’Av, this reality is brought into stark relief: our Aveilus and distress is not over a mere building, or even the death and destruction that Churban and Galus hath wrought, though those are indeed painful to reflect upon. When we sit on the floor, when we hear Eicha and recite Kinnos, our thoughts turn to the damage done to our relationship with HKBH.

Even when our desires for growth, for Kedusha and Tahara, are sincere, the path is fraught for we cannot lead lives of “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”. Yes, some specific days or times are auspicious for increased growth, but everything is relative—the Madreigos we can reach are stifled by the rift in the Ahava between ourselves and HKBH. The very reality that is so comforting on Pesach, that satiates us at the Seder, is stuck in our throats on Tisha B’Av.

“וְעַל זֶה הָיָה מְקוֹנֵן יִרְמְיָה אֵיכָה יָשְׁבָה בָדָד”

The words that begin the Avodah of Tisha B’av, “אֵיכָה יָשְׁבָה בָדָד”, reflect the entirety of the day. We are alone. While we once lived together with the Shechina, we are now on our own, far removed from those days—physically, spiritually, and emotionally. This sense of loneliness defines us, not only in the way we live in Galus, but in our Ruchnias as well. When we do not have the Mikdash, our entire relationship with HKBH is different, and we cannot experience the growth we truly desire. This is the greatest tragedy of the Churban, which itself lef Yirmiyahu to cry out “אֵיכָה יָשְׁבָה בָדָד”.

Perhaps, however, we can find a message of solace in the way the Medrash is written.

There are two Pessukim which speak about the Mitzvah of eating the Korban Pesach together with Matzah and Marror. The first is in Parshas Bo, in the Pessukim of Pesach Mitzrayim: “וְאָכְלוּ אֶת הַבָּשָׂר בַּלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה, צָלִי אֵשׁ וּמַצּוֹת עַל מְרוֹרִים יֹאכְלוּהוּ”. The second appears later, in Parshas Behaloshca, in the Mitzva of Pesach Sheni: “בַּחֹדֶשׁ הַשֵּׁנִי בְּאַרְבָּעָה עָשָׂר יוֹם בֵּין הָעַרְבַּיִם יַעֲשׂוּ אֹתוֹ עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”.

The Medrash here brings the latter Passuk, which applies only to Pesach Sheni, as opposed to the first, which relates to the regular Korban Pesach. Why? The same message, “מִמַּה שֶּׁהִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בְּלֵילֵי יוֹם טוֹב הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל פֶּסַח, הִרְוַנִי בְּלֵילֵי תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב לַעֲנָה” could have been understood from the words “צָלִי אֵשׁ וּמַצּוֹת עַל מְרוֹרִים יֹאכְלוּהוּ”, why did the Medrash specifically choose the Passuk that refers to Pesach Sheni?

Maybe this is exactly the point.

When a person is “טָמֵא  לָנֶפֶשׁ אוֹ בְדֶרֶךְ רְחֹקָה” and misses the Korban Pesach, he may feel that he has caused irreparable damage to his relationship with HKBH. The Torah, therefore, tells him: “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”. The reality of Matzah and Marror in one bite is only possible when there is Ahava, and he must know that Pesach presents this opportunity as well. Even when a person is “בְדֶרֶךְ רְחֹקָה”, he can come back and experience the levels of Ahava that allow for “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”.

This is message of the Medrash: although it is true that we do not lead lives of “עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ”, and our existence in Galus is one of “הִשְׂבִּיעַנִי בַמְּרוֹרִים הִרְוַנִי לַעֲנָה”, we too can one day experience the bliss of “אַהֲבָה מְקַלְקֶלֶת אֶת הַשּׁוּרָה”. Though we are the very epitome of “בְדֶרֶךְ רְחֹקָה”, we can yet bring the day of Geulah, on which we will once again be Zoche to the levels of Ahava that will allow us to truly enjoy the growth and connection we so deeply desire.