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The majority of Parshas Chayei Sarah is dedicated to the story of Eliezer’s journey to find a wife for Yitzchok Avinu. Because we know that the Torah does not tell us about every part of the lives of the Avoswe must ask why this story had to be included in the Torah. There are major episodes in the lives of Avrohom, Yitzchok and Yaakov that we learn about only through Chazal, and there are significant chunks of time which are omitted. That all being said, one wonders why the Torah saw fit to include are the events surrounding this Shidduch: what message do these Pessukim hold?

To answer this question, we can look to the way Shidduchim are mentioned in Sefer Tehillim.

Kapital 68 is introduced with the words Lamenatzeach L’Dovid Mizmor Shir and the following words reveal its theme: “Yakum Elokim Yafutzu Oyvav”. The Perek is devoted to praising Hashem for the downfall of our enemies. There is a Machlokes, however, to which of our many foes these Pessukim refer.

Rashi views the Perek as having a general message, explaining that the word “Oyvav” refers to Amalek, “V’Kiyotzei Bo”, and those like him. Radak, on the other hand, takes a more focused approach, explaining that the Perek is about the fall of Sancherev in the days of Chizkiyahu. Both according to Rashi, and Radak, however, the words of the Perek are easily understood.

Some of the Perek is given to descriptions of the doom that awaits those who seek to harm us, as our enemies are compared to smoke that disperses in the wind, “K’Hindof Ashan Tindof”, and wax that melts in fire, “K’Himes Donag Mipnei Aish”, ominous ends to be sure. The majority of the PEssukim, however, are devoted to thanking Hashem for bringing the Yeshua we so desperately need.

We are reminded that when our enemies fall, those who understand the true source of salvation enjoy it the most: “V’Tzadikim Yismechu Y’Altzu Lifnei Elokim”. Dovid Hamelech urges us to join their ranks, bringing praise to the Melech Ozer U’Moshiah: “Shiru L’Elokim Zamru Shemo”.

Later, Dovid speaks about the constant Shemira that we enjoy: “Baruch Hashem Yom Yom Yaamas Lanu.” Metzudos explains that these words, which of course appear in Davening, teach us that we must thank Hashem every day for the Yeshuos he provides. While there are moments in which the Yad Hashem is displayed quite openly, in reality HKBH is constantly Metiv in ways we cannot imagine.

The message of the Perek is clear: those who dare challenge Klal Yisroel, thereby disputing their stature as the Am Hanivchar, will meet their ends ignobly. This will in turn lead to Ribuy Kvod Shamayim as all recognize that “Hu Nossen Oz V’Satzumos L’Am”.

Besides predicting the downfalls that await our enemies, however, Dovid also speaks about those that have already received their punishment. The Passuk tells us: “Elokim Moshiv Yechidim Baysa Motzi Asirim BaKosharos”. Rashi explains that these words refer to Yetzias Mitztayim: HKBH took Bnei Yisroel, who were spread out as Yechidim throughout the land, and took them out. According to Rashi, the word “BaKosharos” refers to the fact that Hashem took us out in a time that was “Kasher” for travelling: Chodesh Nissan, when it is neither too hot nor too cold. The Passuk concludes, “Ach Soririm Shachnu Tzechicha”, speaking of the Mitzrim who were left to rot in an arid land.

While it clearly fits into the theme of the Perek, this Passuk is also the source for a well known Mamar Chazal that is related to our Parsha.

There are Medrashim in a number of places, including the Tanchuma in Parshas Ki Sisa, that tell the story of a Roman matron who asked a question of R’ Yosi bar Chalafta: if HKBH created the world in six days, “Mah Hu Asa M’Oso Sha’ah V’Ad Achshav”? R’ Yosi answered: “HKBH Yoshev U’Mizaveg Zivugim”. The matron found it hard to believe that this was a worthy focus for the Borei Olam, and set out to prove that she herself could make Shidduchim. To that end, she lined up the male slaves opposite the female ones and paired them off, one to another. This solution had disastrous ends, with the new couples finding immediate discord. The matron then summoned R’ Yosi to admit that he had been correct, the process of making Zivugim indeed required divine intervention. R’ Yosi responded that in fact “Kasha Zivugin Shel Adam K’Krias Yam Suf”, citing this Passuk: “Elokim Moshiv Yechidim Baysa Motzi Asirim BaKosharos.”

This Medrash is of course somewhat hard to understand, from a few perspectives. Obviously there are numerous explanations for why Shidduchim are compared to Krias Yam Suf, but we must also understand the proof that R’ Yosi brought to show that this is so. This Passuk speaks about Yetzias Mitzrayim in general, but not Krias Yam Suf specifically. Why, then, does this prove that “Kasha Zivugin Shel Adam K’Krias Yam Suf”? The beginning of the Passuk speaks about Yechidim being joined together, but it is not immediately apparent how the Passuk relates to this Memra.

We must understand the story in a more general sense as well. In truth, Zivugin do come about through human intervention, though success is of course dictated by Hashgacha Elyona. Why was the matron wrong, and why did her attempts fail so miserably?

In order to answer the question, it might be helpful to examine another Mamar Chazal related to these words.

The Medrash at the beginning of Bamidbar Rabba tells us that there are people whom are Yechidim in Olam HaZeh, but HKBH creates for them a “Bayis”. The Medrash provides examples: Dovid was a Yachid, but received the “Bais Dovid” and Ahron HaKohen was a Yachid, but received “Bais HaLevi”. In conclusion, the Medrash connects this concept to the words “Elokim Moshiv Yechidim Baysa” using the words “Yachid” and “Bayis”. Now, both Ahron and Dovid were married and the Pessukim speak about their families, it is therefore difficult to understand how they were classified as “Yechidim”. In addition, the term “Bayis” as used in the Medrash clearly has a different connotation than a home—how can we understand this?

Perhaps we can answer this final question, and gain a new understanding into the words of the Passuk, through a well-known Gemara that carries a similar message.

The Pessukim at the beginning of Parshas Shemos tell us about the heroic acts of the two Mialdos HaIvrios, Shifra and Puah. The Torah tells us that Hashem saw that they were motivated by pure Yiras Hashem, and they were rewarded: “VaYas Lahem Batim.”

The Gemara in Sota brings a Machlokes regarding the meaning of Batim: Rav teaches that this refers to Batei Kehuna and Leviah, while Shmuel holds that it refers to the Malchus. Interestingly, Rashi subsumes both approaches, explaining that Yocheved received the Batei Kehuna V’Levia, via her sons Moshe and Ahron, which Miriam received the Malchus via her husband, Kalev. Here too, we see that the term “Batim” does not necessarily refer to a persons home or family, but rather to something more general. How, then, is a Bayis defined? Why does the Torah use the word “Batim” to refer to the reward received by the Miyaldos?

Maharal, in Gevuros Hashem, explains that the Schar given to the Miyaldos was Middah Kneged Middah: they risked their lives to ensure that Bnei Yisroel would have a Hemshech, and so they were given Batim. A Bayis, explains Maharal is defined by Kevius, permanence. Because Kehuna, Leviah and Malchus are all passed from father to son, and are not removed once they are granted, they are defined as Batim.

We know understand the definition of a Bayis: something that is permeant, that takes hold and is not released.

We can now understand the Medrash in Bamidbar Rabba in a new light. Ahron Hakohen and Dovid Hamelech were Yechidim—their Avodas Hashem was unique and remarkable, and they were rewarded with Batim, in which their particular Kochos were passed on to their offspring in perpetuity.

The concept of Kasha Zivugin Shel Adam K’Krias Yam Suf is understandable as well. Krias Yam Suf marked the culmination of Yetzias Mitzrayim, and it was a that time that we were transformed from disparate individuals to a Klal, from Yechidim into something with Kvius. This is the process of HKBH being Mizaveg Zivugim. Of course it is easy to take two people and match them up, but any roman matron can do that. It takes the Borei Olam to create Batim. When two people are joined together for the right purposes, they have the opportunity to create a reality in which a Bayis emerges. The Passuk of “Elokim Moshiv Yechidim Baysa” is therefore appropriate for this Limud: the crux of a Shidduch is to take two Yechidim and allow them create a Bayis, to undergo a similar transformation to that of Klal Yisroel at the time of Krias Yam Suf.

This can help us understand focus on the Shidduch of Yitzchok and Rivka found in this week’s Parsha.

When Avrohom sent Eliezer to find a wife for his son, it was not merely for the purpose of marriage: he wished to create a Bayis. The Avos Hakedoshim were Yechidim and it was necessary to take their Kochos and Middos and create a Kvius for generations. The mission to Charan was therefore vital for Klal Yisroel itself, as it would allow for the perpetuation of everything Avrohom had worked for.

As we learn these Pessukim, then, we have the opportunity to reflect in the fact that we are members of this household, dwellers in the Bayis Ne’eman created by our Avos so many generation ago, and bearers of the great responsibilities that come with residence.