Joint Venture

The majority of this week’s Sedra is devoted to Eliezer’s quest to find a wife for Yitzchok Avinu. Under strict instructions from his master, Avrohom Avinu, Eliezer journeys to Aram Naharyim in search of a suitable match, and the Torah goes into great detail in describing the events that transpired there. In fact, though as a rule Torah is succinct, and many important Halachos can only be learned from Drashos, the Pessukim in this part of the Parsha seem almost repetitive, to the point that Chazal comment: “Yafah Sichasan Shel Avdei Avos Yoser MiTorasan Shel Banim.” Seeing as the Torah does teach us this story in such detail, we can only then assume that there must be vital lessons for us to learn from even the most minor points.

When Eliezer reaches Aram Naharayim he says a short Tefillah, asking Hashem for Hatzlacha in his endeavor—a Tefillah that is quickly answered: “Vayehi Hu Terem Kila L’Daber V’Hinei Rivka Yotza’as,” just as he finished his Tefilla, Rivka emerged. The Torah then tells us about their initial interaction as Eliezer asks for water and Rivka of course offers water for both he and his camels. The Pessukim are replete with words such as “Vatimaher” and “Vataratz”, indicating the alacrity with which Rivka performed this Chesed and Eliezer is clearly impressed and prepared to move on to the next phase of his mission.

The Passuk then tells us about the gifts that Eliezer brought for the woman he was to choose: “Vayikach HaIsh Nezem Zahav Beka Mishlkalo U’Shnei Tzimidim Al Yadeha Asarah Zahav Mishkalam.” The gifts seems simple--a golden ring that weighed a “Beka” and two bracelets that weighed “Asarah Zahav”—but are obviously anything but.

Rashi, based on a Medrash Rabbah, explains that these gifts were not chosen at random, but each had a significance. The Nezem weighed half a Shekel, and is a Remez to the Shekalim of Bnei Yisroel, which are referred to as “Beka” as in “Beka Lagilgoles.” Similarly, the bracelets contain Remazaim: they are called Tzimidim, a reference to the two Luchos, which were connected to one another, and their total weight was “Asarah Zahav”, or the weight of ten Shekelim, a reference to the Aseres Hadibros.

While these Remazim seem to fit well into the words of the Passuk, we must also ask why they are necessary? Why, at this point in time, did Eliezer give Rivka gifts that symbolize the Shekalim and the Luchos? By telling us the weight of the objects and using uncommon terms such a s “Beka”, the Torah goes out of its way to indicate that there was significance to the gifts, but why these particular connections?

Before attempting to understand these words, we must also explore one more aspect of this Passuk.

The Torah never tells us that Eliezer gave these items to Rivka, only “Vayikach” that he “took” them. There is actually a Machlokes among the Rishonim at what point he in fact gave them to her.

The Ramban maintains that when he saw Rivka’s actions, Eliezer took the gifts out of his bags, but he did not give them to her until after he asked who her father was and she responded satisfactorily. This approach is bolstered by a Passuk later on, when Eliezer relates the story of their interaction to the family of Rivaka. There he says: “VaEshal Osa V’Omar Bas Mi At…ViAsim HaNezem Al Apah V’Hatzmidim Al Yadah.” Eliezer himself told Lavan and Besuel that he only placed the ring and braclets upon Rivka after she identified herself, as the Ramban explained.

Rashi, however, assumes that the word “Vayikach” means that he gave it to her at that time, before asking about her pedigree. Later on, when telling the story to Lavan and Besuel, Rashi says that Eliezer changed his story so that they would not ask why he gave the gifts before ascertaining that Rivka was indeed a worthy recipient.

This Shitas Rashi seems to be unique among the Meofrshei HaChumash, with most understanding the sequence of events like the Ramban. Presumably, most are bothered by the same question as Lavan and Besuel would have had: Avraham only had one Hakpada when it came to his son’s Shidduch—that the girl be from his family, why then would Eliezer give the gifts meant for the new Kallah to Rivka before making sure that this condition could be fulfilled? This question is quite glaring, but Rashi obviously was unbothered by it—we therefore must find an approach to these Pessukim in a way that helps us understand why.

It seems that if we explore the message sent by the Nezem and Tzimidim, we may be able to better understand Eliezer’s actions.

As we mentioned, the Nezem, which weighed half a Shekel was a Remez to the Machatzis Hashekel. The Machatzis Hashekel that we are most familiar with is the one spoken about in Parshas Ki Sisa and which we read as Parshas Shekalim. Those Shekalim were used to count Bnei Yisroel and then used to buy the Korbonos Tzibbur that were brought throughout the year. They, however, are not the Shekalim that are called “Beka Lagilgoles”. In Parshas Pekudei the Torah tells us that there were Shekalim collected for the Meleches HaMishkan at the rate of one-half per person: “Beka Lagilgoles.” It would seem that the word “Beka” as used to describe the Nezem therefore is a Remez to these Shekalim, the ones collected for the Mishkan.

Those Shekalim had a very specific purpose: they were used to fabricate the Adanim, the bases upon which the walls of the Mishkan rested. Though most of the Kelim in the Mishkan were made from donations that came from the Nidivei Lev, with each person giving what they felt was appropriate, some more and some less, the Adanim, which were the very base of the Miskan, had to come from a different source. The Stropkover Rebbe, in his Sefer Divrei Yechezkel Shraga, explains the significance of the Beka Lagilgoles for this particular use.

When Bnei Yisroel built the Mishkan, they did so with one goal in mind: to bring Hashra’as HaShechina in their midst: “V’Asu Li Mikdash V’Shachanti B’Socham.” A structure befitting of the Shechina, explains the Stropkover, must be built with a measure of Anivus, because the Shechina rests among the Anavim. The Adanim were therefore made from the Machatzis Hashekel because they represented Anivus. The flat rate of this Terumah, in which everyone gave the same amount, ensures that no one person can have any Ga’avah resulting from a larger donation—each person had an equal share. When a person gives a Machatzis Hashekel, he recognizes that he himself is not complete, but it is only with others that he can accomplish, reinforcing the Anav necessary for the Hashra’as Hashechina.

Eliezer went to Aram Naharayim to find a wife for Yitzchok Avniu—a wife with whom he could build not only their personal Bayis Ne’eman but also Klal Yisroel itself. He therefore brought a Nezem that weighed hald a Shekel, in reference to the Beka Lagigoles, to send an important message: the house that you are to build will be a Makom of Hashra’as Hashechina only if there is a measure of Anava. Only if you realize that you cannot take this task on alone, will you be successful in your quest.

The Tzimidim, representing the two Luchos that were Tzamid, connected, and the Aseres Hadibros, sent a similar message. As we know, each of the Luchos was inscribed with five of the Dibros, but the division is not arbitrary. The first five Dibros are all Mitzvos that are Bein Adam L’Chaveiro and the second five are Bein Adam L’Chaveiro—each of the Luchos then represents the relevant category of Mitzvos.

If a person is a Ba’al Gaava, and believes that he can attain the heights to which he aspires on his own, then the Mitzvos that are Bein Adam L’Chaveiro seem less important. Because his own growth is paramount, and he does not need any assistance in that realm, his relationship with others may take a toll. If a person is an Anav, however, and realizes that he cannot do anything of import on his own, but requires the input, support and inspiration of others, he sees Mitzvos She’Bein Adam L’Chaveiro as a means to his personal growth.

The two Luchos are connected to send us this important message—the two categories of Mitzvos are not independent of one another, but actually interdependent. Only through healthy and productive interpersonal relationships can a person truly reach the goals he sets for himself—even in the realm of Bein Adam L’Chaveiro.

The Tzimidim, then, send the same message as the Nezem. They reference the connected Luchos and all ten of the Dibros, reinforcing the need for productive personal relationships to attain Shelimus and thus Hashra’as Hashechina.

Keeping in mind that this was the message that Eliezer, and presumably Avrhom Avinu, meant to send with these gifts, perhaps we can understand why Eleizer gave them to Rivka before asking who she was.

When he arrived in Aram Naharaim, Eliezer encountered a young girl who was very clearly the paradigm of a Ba’alas Chesed. Each act of Chesed that Rivka performed was done in the best way possible, going above and beyond that which was requested. If we think about it, Chesed can only come from Anava—only one who considers himself incomplete and understands that he needs others to be successful can be so attuned to the needs of others. It was, after all, Avraham Avinu, the Merkava of Chesed, who was able to say “V’Anochi Afar V’Efer” because only when a person truly feels dependent on others for his own growth is he able to excel in the selfless service of others.

Aware that he was choosing not only a wife for his master but a mother for the future of Klal Yisroel, Eliezer understood that Anivus would be a vital Middah, for otherwise the necessary Hashra’as Hashechina could not take place. Once he saw the Chesed of Rivka Imenu, he knew instinctively that she was the intended match for Yitzchok. At that point he was ready to give her the jewelry, and ascertaining her linage was but a formality. Once he saw the quality of her character Eleizer knew that he had found the young lady for whom he was looking. His inscticts were borne out when he placed the Tzimidim on her arm, as Sforno tells us they fit perfectly—a sign that he had chosen correctly.

In our own pursuit of Shelimus, and as we attempt to build lives and homes that are appropriate for Hashra’as Hashechina, it is instructive to recall the message of the Nezem and Tzimidim, always bearing in mind that we can accomplish nothing important on our own, and everything with the support and guidance of others.