How Old Are You?

The very last section of this week’s Parsha is devoted to the details of Yishmael’s life. The Torah lists all of his children, and then tells us that Yishmael lived for one hundred and thirty seven years.

The Medrash on this Passuk asks why the Torah goes out of its way to mention the lifespan of a Rasha such as Yishmael—for what reason do we need to know how long he lived. The answer in the Medrash itself is somewhat cryptic, but there is a Gemarah in Megillah that discusses the same question and provides an answer that may help us understand the Pessukim here.

The Gemarah there is trying to prove an important Yesod: “Gadol Talmud Torah Yoser M’Kibud Av V’Em.,” that learning Torah takes precedence over the Mitzvah Kibud Av V’Em. We see this from Yaakov Avinu who was punished—by having Yosef taken from him—for some of the years that he was away from Yitzchok Avinu, but not all. Although he was away from his father’s house for thirty-six years, Yosef was only taken for twenty-two years, and the Gemarah explains that he was no punished for the fourteen years tht he was learning Torah in Yeshivas Shem V’ever.

In order to make these calculations, the Gemarah needs to know how old Yaakov Avinu was when he received the Brachos from Yitzchok, which though not stated explicitly in the Pessukim can be derived from Yishmael’s age at the time. We learn from Drashos that Yishmael passed away right after Yaakov received the Brachos, therefore once we know how old he was when he died—based on this Passuk—we know how old he was when the Brachos were given and therefore how old Yitzchok was.

At first glance this Gemarah, which is really based on the Medrash here, seems a little difficult to understand. If we need to know how old Yaakov was at the time of the Brachos, the Torah could have told us that directly. It seems from the Medrash that it would be inappropriate to list the age of a Rashah for no reason at all, why then did the Torah go out of its way to tell us how long Yishmael lived just so that we could determine Yaakov’s age?

It is also interesting that the idea of “Gadol Talmud Torah Yoser M’Kibud Av V’Em” is so closely tied to Yishmael—without our knowing Yishmael’s age, we would not have this Limud. It would seem that there is a connection between this Yesod and Yishmael himself, a surprising notion, and one that we must certainly try to understand.

This becomes even a little more difficult to understand based on a comment Rashi makes just a few words later. In telling us about the death of Yishmael the Torah says: “VaYigva VaYamus, VaYeasef El Amav” and Rashi explains that the word “VaYigva” is one that is used only in relation to a Tzaddik. The implication of the use of this word is therefore that Yishmael was a Tzaddik. But the question posed by the Medrash regarding Yishmael’s age is based on the assumption that he was a Rasha.

If Yishmael was indeed a Tzaddik, it seems that there is no question as to why the Torah included his age, but if he was a Rasha, the word VaYigva is out of place. How are we to understand this apparent contradiction?

One approach to this issue, which is suggested by the Marsha in Meggilah among others, is that although Yishmael was a Rasha at some point in his life, he did Teshuva before he died. If this is the case, the word VaYigva makes sense, because he was in fact a Tzaddik when he died—but then why is the Gemarah bothered by the inclusion of his age? If he did Teshuvah before his death, why is the fact that the Torah mentions his age a question?

There are a number of Achronim who suggest that Yishmael did in fact do Teshuvah before he dies, but it was not a complete Teshuvah. This may help explain why Yishmael was referred to as both a Tzaddik and Rashah, why the term VaYigva is appropriate but counting his years was out of the ordinary. On the other hand, both these titles are on the extreme ends of the spectrum: we are told that Vaygiva is a term that is reserved for Tzaddikim and at the same time the Medrash asks why we count the years of a Rasha—if Yishmael started on a path to Teshuvah but did not complete it, why does he qualify as either a Tzaddik or a Rasha?

The truth is that the source for Yishmael’s Teshuvah is a Gemarah in Bava Basra that seems unequivocal. The Passuk earlier in this week’s Parsha describes the Levaya of Avraham Avinu: “VaYikbiru Oso Yitzchak V’Yishmael Banav”. The Gemarah says that Yishmael showed Yitzchak the proper Kavod and encouraged him to go first when it came to burying their father. It is this behavior that proves Yishmael did Teshuvah during his lifetime. There is no qualification in the Gemarah—there is no mention of his Teshuvah being less than complete. How then can we understand the conflicting Chazal that paint him as a Tzadddik and Rasha at the same time?

In order to answer this question, we must first understand what Yishmael’s Aveirah was, and how he did Teshuvah.

The proof that the Gemarah brings, from the Passuk describing the Kevurah of Avraham Avinu, is a little difficult to understand. How does this small action, affording Yitzchak the proper Kavod, show that Yishmael did Teshuvah?

The Meshech Chachma explains that Yishmael did not have to do Teshuvah on a life’s worth of Aveiros, but rather for the Aveirah that got him expelled from the house of Avraham. In last week’s Parsha the Torah tells us “VaTerah Sarah Es Ben Hagar HaMitzris Asher Yalda L’Avraham Mitzachek” and that this behavior was the impetus of her insistence on Hagar and Yishmael leaving. There are a variety of explanations of the word Mitzchek, and how it indicated Aveirah, but the Meshech Chachma offers a novel approach.

At the beginning of next week’s Parsha the Torah tells us that the Leitzanei HaDor scoffed at the birth of Yitzchok, claiming that since Avraham and Sarah had been married for so long without children, it would make sense that Avimelech was in fact the father of Yitzchok. The word Mitzachek, laughing, explains R’ Meir Simcha, is referring to Yishmael’s participation in these rumors. He notes that the Passuk says that Sarah witnessed this behavior right after the Passuk that speaks of the Seudah that Avraham made “B’Yom Higamel Es Yitzchak”, a public celebration of fatherhood that would certainly have invited the scorn of the Litzanei HaDor. By indicating his agreement with this falsehood, Yishmael was not just mocking Avraham, he was challenging the legitimicay of any claim that Yitzchak may have as the heir of Avraham. In fact when she tells Avraham to send Hagar and Yishmael away Sarah says: “Ki Lo Yirash Ben Ha’Ama HaZos Im Bini Im Yitzchak”, perhaps indicating that Yishmael’s abhorrent behavior was tied to the Yerusha of Avraham.

When it came to the Kevurah of Avraham, explains the Meshech Chachmah, and Yishmael told Yitzchak to go first, he was showing that that he no longer challenged Yitzchok’s paternity, that he had done Teshuva for his earlier misdeeds and did not subscribe to the notions of the Leitzanei HaDor.

But again, the explanation of the Meshech Chachama does not help us understand why the Teshuva of Yishmael was incomplete. If anything it would seem like he had totally abandoned he previous position and was now fully recognizing the rightful position of Yitzchak as the rightful heir to Avraham. Would this not seem to be Teshuva Sheleima?

I would like to perhaps suggest a slightly different approach to explain the nature of Yishmael’s Teshuvah.

As we mentioned earlier, the Gemarah in Megillah uses the Passuk that tells us Yishmael’s age as part of the Limud teaching us Gadol Talmud Torah Yoser M’Kibud Av V’Em. In a sense, however, this Gemarah may seem unnecessary.

The Mishna tells us Talmid Torah K’neged Kulam—learning Torah is equivalent to all other Mitzvos, so why do we need a Limud from the life of Yaakov Avinu to tell us that it is greater than Kibud Av V’Em—why would we assume that it isn’t?

The Orchos Mussar, a Sefer written by one of the present day Balei Machshava, provides an insight into this idea. He cites the Gemarah in Yoma that discusses the concept of “Sheyeh Shem Shamayim Misyahev Al Yadecha,” and which explains that when one acts in the Derech HaTorah and treats others with respect, those who see his behavior will exclaim “Ashrei Aviv Shelamdo Torah!” We see from this Gemarah that a person’s behavior reflects his upbringing and causes great honor to his parents.

Therefore, says the Orchos Mussar, the Gemarah in Meggilah tells us “Gadol Talmud Torah”, of course Talmud Torah takes precedence over Kibud Av V’Em, but we must also realize that we are giving more Kavod to our parents through our Limud HaTorah than we ever could with our own actions. Whereas he may be able to show his father Kavod in a private setting, by performing acts of Kibbud, his accomplishments in Torah will cause even greater Kavod in the public sphere.

Perhaps it was this lesson that Yishmael had learned. As he saw Yitzchok develop into the Tzaddik that he was, truly carrying on in the path their father, Yishmael understood that it was in this way that Yitzchok established himself as the Yoresh of Avraham Avinu. Yitzchok’s actions truly caused Yishmael to reach a point of saying “Ashrei Aviv Shelamdo Torah,” and it was this realization that caused him to defer to Yitzchok at the Kevurah of Avraham. His change of heart was not spontaneous—it was spurred by his realization that Yitzchok, by emulating Avraham, was in fact his true Bechor.

This is why the Gemarha teaches us the precept of Gadol Talmud Torah Yoser M’Kibud Av V’Em through the Passuk that tells us Yishmael’s age. This Passuk is itself a testament to the Teshuva that Yishmael did, which was caused by his understanding that Limud HaTorah is the ultimate display of a person’s roots.

With this in mind we can also understand why Yishmael is still in some ways seen as a Rasha. He understood the lesson of Gadol Talmud Torah Yoser M’Kibud Av V’Em, and treated Yitzchok accordingly, but he didn’t carry this out in his own life. Yishmael knew that the best way for him to establish his credentials as a son of Avraham was through Torah and Maasim Tovim, but he failed to do so. In this sense, though he did Teshuva for his Aveira of scoffing at the birth of Yitzchok, the Teshuva was incomplete, and he could still be seen as a Rasha because he did not bring the lesson into his own life.

So often we are confronted with a similar challenge: we know what’s right, and we may even acknowledge the accomplishments of others, but we fail to take action in our own lives. We may think we aren’t “ready” or that we cannot rise to the same levels, but we must take the lesson of Yishmael to heart. When we see other’s doing right, we must not just say “Ashrei Aviv Shelamdo Torah” and move on, we must ourselves strive to reach a level of Sheyeh Shem Shamayim Misyahev Al Yadecha.